It’s always refreshing to see a professional singer who doesn’t feel she has to impress anyone with, you know, her voice. Nobody likes a showoff.
It’s always refreshing to see a professional singer who doesn’t feel she has to impress anyone with, you know, her voice. Nobody likes a showoff.
Did you see the news where the Reds’ Joey Votto refused to pat Marlon Byrd on the back for his terrific, potentially game-saving defensive play in the 9th inning of the All-Star game Tuesday night?
“I don’t like the Cubs,” said Votto, the first baseman for the NL Central-leading Cincinnati Reds. “And I’m not going to pat anybody with a Cubs uniform on the back.”
Asked why he has such disdain for the Cubs, Votto said: “We are Cincinnati Reds. We’re taught to hate everything in the Central Division. That’s just how it is.”
First of all, I’m sure they are “taught to hate everything in the Central Division”, because the Reds’ current manager was unceremoniously dumped by the Cubs when he lost all control of his ballclub. Nah, that can’t have anything to do with it.
Second, who in the holy, everloving hell does Joey freaking Votto think he is? The All-Star game is usually bigger than team rivalries. Votto is a decent enough little ballplayer, but he ain’t Lou Gehrig. Defending your ballclub is one thing, but refusing to even congratulate a player who just may have helped your team get home-field advantage in the World Series is childish, petty bullshit. (and I should know)
Now, the question becomes, are Cubs marketing chief Wally Heyward and his staff capable of doing something to capitalize on this situation before the next time the Reds come into town on August 6, 7 & 8? C’mon, we all know the Cubs aren’t going to have much to play for in the second half and if Heyward has any idea whatsoever about his job, he will not rest until he comes up with a fun way for Cubs fans to mock this Joey Votto moron. Even if you can’t do a sponsored giveaway this quickly, make one of the games “Come as Your Favorite Idiot Day” or something….anything. This is Heyward’s chance to prove me wrong about him and seize a perfect opportunity to announce the new ownership’s presence with authority. (espn)
See, now this is what I’m talking about. Here, Marisa shines in her element, which is looking hotter than virtually every other person in the history of the planet. And, by comparison, Chris Bosh looks like a monster of biblical proportions.
This bit, same as most on the ESPY broadcast tonight, went on about 2 minutes too long, but it’s still funny enough for me to take my precious precious time to write something poignant yet witty as an introduction. I’ve been told I’m like the Mark Twain of hateful, bitter sports bloggers that way. (if you’re new to the site and wondering where the poignant witty stuff is…just wait a while…it will hit you when you least expect it. just like Mel Gibson.)
I received some, admittedly valid, criticism for using the word douchebag a little too much in the past. But I went through 14 different Thesauruses (Thesaurusi?) looking for a more appropriate word, and just couldn’t come up with one.
Mark Wahlberg is a douchebag.
Of that there can be no legitimate argument. Not only is the douchebaggiest show in the history of television, Entourage, based on his life, but he brought a freaking water bottle up on stage to hand out an award on live TV, and then proceeded to creep out his co-presenter Emmanuelle Chriqui with some pervy sexual comments. I mean seriously, who the hell does this guy think he is? He has only been in one movie that succeeded because of him, Boogie Nights (and I can make an argument for that movie’s success solely based on Heather Graham’s, ahem, ‘performance’)…yeah, he was in Three Kings, but that’s Clooney’s movie and The Departed is definitely Jack’s flick, and then the rest are complete dogshit like Rock Star and Max Payne. Yet, this super dick (pun not originally intended, then intended) seems to feel entitled to douche it up at anything sports related which will give him some beloved screen time. Why? Because he likes Boston teams? I don’t get it.
Leave it to the equally attention-seeking Lindsey Vonn to put him in his place by calling him Marky Mark. Feel the vibrations!I will now forever retire the word douchebag in Mark Wahlberg’s honor.
Can someone please explain to me why supermodel Brooklyn Decker is at the ESPY’s and her husband the actual pro athlete Andy Roddick isn’t? Trouble in paradise? Yeah, I don’t really care either.
I just love that she got a better seat than Vince Young.
UPDATE: Now, with video! I edited out all the pesky non-Brooklyn stuff. So, if you want to see Greg Lewis’ stirring acceptance speech, you’ll have to go elsewhere. You’re welcome.
Since today is literally the slowest sports day of the year, I thought I would give the class a treat and post one of the top 5 greatest scenes in movie history from the classic early 90’s film True Romance. Jesus, I saw this movie in the theaters and now it’s 17 years old? Getting old blows.
Not only is this scene brilliantly played by legends Hopper and Walken at the absolute top of their game, but it includes Tony Soprano himself in James Gandolfini, which I had forgotten until I re-watched it a few days ago.
You’ll tell the angels in heaven that you had never seen evil so singularly personified as you did in the face of the man who killed you.
Now, I’m only pointing out the bad here because Miller is a legit athlete who I’m sure would have it no other way. If pride yourself on your athleticism, as Miller definitely does, and you take an 0-fer in a celebrity softball game (during which a shrimpenstein star chef hits a home run), no matter how good you look in your, ahem, uniform, you should be embarrassed, period. This is tough love, Miller. Get your swing together, or stick to the runway.
This shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone who has even watched one Cubs this season. This play is simply what all-star games are all about. I’m not even joking when I say this brought tears to my eyes. Wait, did I just write that out loud?
Just think, Byrd had to let the ball actually get past him, so he could nab it, spin to his left and then gun Big Papi out at second. Breathtaking defensive agility. But that’s just Marlon being Marlon. And all done with a huge smile and kidlike passion.
Are we finally ready to fully embrace Marlon Byrd yet, Cubs fans? I mean, he did only help the Cubs secure home field advantage in the 2010 World Series, for crissake. Let’s give our guy a couple of standing ovations on Thursday night against the Phillies, shall we?
Now, I’m not going to pretend I have any idea who Colbie Caillat is. Seiously. Literally no clue. And normally I would most likely bitch about the fact she was wearing Daisy Dukes and cowboy boots to sing God Bless America in front of 20 million people because…well, that’s the kind of stupid shit I bitch about. However. Her rendition was so simple and perfect and patriotic, I’ll just shut up and let you enjoy.
Unless you hate America, in which case you can go LeBron yourself. (I think it’s catching on.)
“My family and I are sad to learn of the passing of George Steinbrenner early this morning. He will be truly missed by players, fans and all of Major League Baseball. George will be remembered for the leader he was, the championships he brought into being and his many contributions to America’s pastime. My family and all of Cubs Nation send our condolences to the Steinbrenner family, the Yankees and their fans.”
--Cubs owner Tom Rickets on the passing of George Steinbrenner
EXCUSE ME?? “Cubs nation”?? Are you finally getting what I have been saying about how Tom Ricketts has no idea what he is doing? When did we fucking become “Cubs nation”? It is this utter lack of creativity that is going to turn the team back into a national laughingstock. We (and I virtually never use the pronoun “we”) are the CHICAGO CUBS. One of the most popular and famous (ok, infamous) teams in all of American sports. We do not need to be stealing PR terminology from the Red Sox or the Mariners or anyone else.
Isn’t it ironic that on the very day of the passing of a baseball ownership icon, the new Cubs owner proves without a doubt he is not nearly up to the task?
And yes, I put up the most disgusting picture ever taken of Wrigley Field on purpose to further prove my point.
I was lucky enough to have met Mr. Steinbrenner briefly one time in 1996 at what was then called Legends Field (now Steinbrenner Field) in Tampa. I remember distinctly how his office at the Yankees minor league ballpark was a virtual hall-of-fame of baseball memorabilia. I can only dream of what his office in Yankee Stadium looked like.
I became a Yankees fan in 1977 when the Yankees were in the World Series and Reggie Jackson hit those 3 home runs in Game 6. (I must have eaten a hundred Reggie bars that following year.) Let’s face it, as a young Cubs fan, there wasn’t too much to root for in the mid to late 70’s, except for maybe Billy Buckner and Dave Kingman. Actually, as a Chicago kid, every home town team sucked until the mid-80’s. So, my American League team became the Yankees. Since I read everything I could get my hands on about baseball history, it was pretty hard to escape learning about the Bronx Bombers from Ruth & Gehrig to DiMaggio to Mantle to Ford, Berra & Maris. Other than my personal hero Mickey Mantle, Billy Martin was always my guy. So, it was always a thrill when Steinbrenner would rehire him (if even sometimes comically) throughout the 80’s trying to bring back some of that old Yankee magic.
Also, as a Cubs fan, I longed for an owner like George Steinbrenner who really, truly cared for his team and, in turn, the fans. For so long, we only had the faceless Tribune mega-conglomerate, who until they decided to sell the ballclub a few years ago, considered winning a dividend and not the ultimate goal. Of course, now we have Little Tommy Ricketts who seems to want to drink beer with his buddies in the front row and sell off Wrigley Field piece-by-legendary-piece rather than do everything necessary to win at all costs. Maybe I did want Mark Cuban after all and I just didn’t know it?
There are still a few owners out there who live on in the Steinbrenner tradition. Cuban, certainly. Jerry Jones springs to mind. Even the Redskins Daniel Snyder is kinda cut from that same cloth. Yeah, he fumbles around and makes the wrong moves often enough, but so did The Boss. Maybe Mike Shanahan will finally be Snyder’s Joe Torre?I can only imagine that somewhere right now George Steinbrenner, forever The Boss, is ordering Jesus to get a haircut and shave off that damn beard.
The very last thing you want to do in a celebrity softball game is show up a guy like Rickey Henderson, as the great Jennie Finch found out. I promise you, Rickey still thinks he can play in the bigs, and when a girl tries to get a cheap laugh off him, it’s game on. For those of you a little too young to remember, Rickey would pop his jersey and take wide turns like that around the bases in the majors, which is of course just one of the things that made Rickey, Rickey.
And now, my Rickey Henderson story…
I was out in Arizona to see the Cubs for spring training in 1995 and was parked at a stoplight on the way from the airport to Mesa. I looked over and saw Rickey as at gas station pumping gas into his giant Mercedes and I yelled out, “Hey, Rickey!” He proceeded to…and I shit you not…drop the pump handle on the ground and flex his biceps like he was a bodybuilder posing for a picture. To this day, that mental picture makes me laugh like a little schoolgirl.
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Nothing makes me despise an umpire more than to see him insisting he is right on a call, when he literally has no idea if he was right or not. NONE. ZERO IDEA. But because these bloated, obsolete dinosaurs have a strong union, and cannot be fired for sucking at their jobs, they feel they have the right to simply guess on calls these days and then just throw someone out who legitimately disagrees. These idiots are affecting careers and even lives with their shitty calls, but somehow feel entitled to that power. That was the one thing that pissed me off about the Jim Joyce blown perfect game call. He was so argumentative and adamant he got the call right…when he just didn’t.
If umpires are going to suck this consistently, then it’s about time for instant replay on EVERYTHING, including balls and strikes. Fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke.
Aww…how revolting. Hey, kid…we’re trying to watch a game here! Down in front! Too bad this little attention grabber had to jam out to the worst song in American history. (if you’re a true Cubs fan, you know what I mean.)
So, the backstory behind this sequence began last season when Marlon Byrd and Dodgers starter Vicente Padilla were teammates on the Texas Rangers. Padilla was released mid-season and Byrd commended the move, calling it “about time” and “absolutely a positive.”
So, Padilla waited until Sunday night’s ESPN game was well in hand, and then he plunked Byrd. Fair enough, in my opinion. That’s baseball. Hell, even Byrd knew what was up.
“When a guy is throwing a two-hit shutout and is pinpoint all day long, and you get hit with a (four-seam fastball), you have to question it sometimes.”
What’s also baseball is a hard throwing rookie trying to make some friends in the dugout with his all-star centerfielder. So, when Cashner entered the game, he wasted no time drilling the first batter, Blake DeWitt, with his first pitch.
Byrd also had a little something to say about that calling Cashner a “great teammate” and complimenting his “pinpoint control.”
When I saw Byrd get hit, I wondered aloud if any Cub pitcher was ever going to protect his hitters this season as hitters have been sitting ducks for most of the year. Cashner proved he has a little Kerry Wood redass in him by having his hitter’s back and believe it or not that will go a long, long way towards his development as a #1 pitcher, which I believe he will eventually become.
In other, more shocking news, the Cubs have NO FREAKING IDEA how far along Carlos Zambrano is in his anger management rehab with Lou saying, “We’re still in limbo.” Huh? Is that a joke? Are YOUR PHONES FUCKING BROKEN??
This franchise has lost its way, that is obvious. I don’t know if Tommy Ricketts will clean house at the end of the season or at the end of the All-Star break. But bet your bottom dollar the Cubs of 2011 will look significantly different than they do today. (chicagotribune)
I think in America, Shakira perhaps doesn’t get the credit she deserves. Since she is considered a ‘pop’ singer, she gets lumped in with calculated numbskulls like Lady GaGa and Katy Perry, but many of us don’t realize she is a truly important global icon. Shakira is not only a worldwide phenomenon as a performer, but she is also a philanthropist, a scholar, an ambassador, an activist and she invented the internet. Wait, that’s Al Gore. Oh well, Shakira’s pretty cool too. Plus, she’s ‘page view’ gold. Suckers!
Now, if you have read this page for more than a month, you know I’m not the hugest hockey fan. I appreciate athletic greatness in all its forms, from a Tiger Woods 2 iron skulled around a hazard to Manny Pacquiao taking hit after hit just to win on the cards once again. From Peyton Manning throwing 50 touchdowns and Alex Rodriguez on the verge of 600 homers…but damn if Jim Cornelison doesn’t crush the hell outta all of them.
I am pretty positive that we here in Chicago have the two best anthem singers in all of sports in Cornelison for the Blackhawks and the Cubs’ Wayne Messmer. Of course, I have literally zero idea what any other American sports franchise does for the Star Spangled Banner, but it cannot be better than this.
I added Blackhawks defenseman Duncan Keith doing the “Gentleman, start your engines,” part on the end. I hope I didn’t just ruin the surprise.
I wonder if Patrick Kane is still drunk?
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One of my favorite things about controversy is when someone says “I’m not going to comment…” and then proceeds to comment extensively. Looks like someone must have coached-up the marble-mouthed SOB before this news conference. How anyone could have been duped into thinking LeBron James is anything but a tall loser is beyond me. I’d be surprised if the Heat even make the playoff with this wannabe on the court.
What a pathetic, self-serving operation in extreme vanity.
Watching this nonsense I thought a) I really fucking hate you now, Lebron. b) how many of those keys to the cities would up in nefarious places…you know you were thinking it too…c) which one will get hurt first, I’m betting on Wade somewhere during training camp and d) which one will sleep with LeBron’s mom first?…Delonte West style…
I hope they have put a moratorium on sniper rifle sales in Cleveland.
This guy just keeps going. Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert also owns fathead.com (who knew?) and is now discounting the remaining LeBron fathead decal things to $17.41, which are normally $49.99. Why that particular price, you ask? Because 1741 was the year Benedict Arnold was born, of course.
I have never heard of something so entirely awesome.
Like you, I thought Gilbert might have just been drunk last night when he fired off his ‘open letter’, and today he would offer some half-hearted, politically correct apology. But now in the clear light of day it seems he is doubling down on his anger and I, for one, am loving every single second of it.
Can Dan Gilbert please figure out a way to buy the Cubs?
SEE ALSO: LeBron brags about his loyalty.
I love it. As I have said before, Joakim Noah is fast becoming a Chicago sports folk hero. Now, I’m not going to lie, I wanted James to come to Chicago, but a PERFECT reaction like this out of one of the Bulls young stars is exactly what I, and indeed this entire town, needed.
Fight. A welcome word if there has ever been one.
Hey, Cleveland! Can you feel the loyalty?
Although none of us has ever seen a US sports owner eviscerate a player the way Cavs owner Dan Gilbert does below in an open letter to fans. Good for him.
Now, if you’re gonna bash my maiden attempt to add audio to a video, you can seriously go LeBron yourself. This took me like 2 hours and that’s after I figured out how to edit an audio clip. Watch out Spielberg! The pieces of the puzzle are almost in place! (and yeah, I think it’s like a minute too long too.)
This video will seem old & dated in just a few hours…but that’s how I roll. Would you rather have the Zambrano porn ‘stache back? Didn’t think so. (if you got that reference, consider yourself a true fan, but please don’t kill yourself just yet. Simply drink your sorrows away!)