Clubhouse Cancer

The Riot hits his first bomb in 700 at-bats.

 

 

Even though the Cubs won, last night’s game was kinda boring. Although I see now that I missed a Colvin triple when I flipped to the Garza no-hitter. Things like that will happen. I also thought I recorded The Riot’s post game interview where he discusses the homer, but it looks like I didn’t get that either. So, here’s a home run by a guy who…now that his glove has deserted him…will most likely be playing for the Royals next year. Enjoy.

Denis Leary throws batting practice to Albert Pujols on Letterman.

 

 

This bit is kinda lame because Leary can’t get the ball over the plate to save his life and anyway, Pujols isn’t used to hitting off amateurs…well, except (insert your home team relief pitcher’s name here). Zing!

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,MLB,St. Louis Cardinals,Albert Pujols,David Letterman,Denis Leary,batting practice,streets of New York,high definition video

“I looked up and I went, oh crap.”

 

 

That was what Tampa Rays pitcher Matt Garza said in response to a question about when he realized he had a no-hitter going tonight vs. the Detroit Tigers. See how much his hand is still shaking from adrenaline in the clip when he takes a drink of water? This is a big deal in the history of the Rays franchise.

I have always liked Garza and I’m glad a kid like him got a nifty little 27up/27down no-no. And while it probably wasn’t the smallest crowd to ever see a no-hitter, it couldn’t have been far from it. Nice to catch a quick glimpse of coach Big George Hendrick in there, too. Although, I honestly always hated him and kinda thought he was dead.

So, congrats to former Ft. Myers Miracle alum Matt Garza on further proving that 2010 is indeed the ‘year of the pitcher’.

Oh, and a hat tip to Jimmy Traina of SI.com’s Hot Clicks for the heads-up Tweet about Garza’s game. I would have stuck with switching between the Cubs and The Closer and missed it altogether. That’s what Twitter’s all about, baby.  

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,MLB,Tampa Bay Rays,Detroit Tigers,Matt Garza,no hitter,first ever in history,Evan Longoria,shaving cream pie,high definition video

Colvin and Castro power Cubs 1-run victory over division leading Cardinals.

 

 

To me, this move of batting Colvin leadoff and Castro second is sheer managerial brilliance. Too bad by the time Lou finally came up with it, he had basically checked out of the job. He should probably give Alan Trammell the credit, so that may help give the bench coach a leg up on the competition in the upcoming skirmish for the Cubs manager’s gig. (Just Say RyNO!)

Cashner did a great job in this game too, pitching 2 full innings of middle relief and holding the Cards down so Marmol could notch the save. I know I keep saying it, but this is the team we hoped for all season long. Am I too much of a ‘Cubs fan’ if I say they aren’t out of it yet? Well, I am and they aren’t. So there. If the freaking White Sox can get back into their division race in a short time, the Cubs certainly can.  

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,MLB,Chicago Cubs,Starlin Castro,Tyler Colvin,Andrew Cashner,Carlos Marmol,Ryne Sandberg,Alan Trammell,Lou Piniella,Go Cubs Go,high definition video

Bulls Kyle Korver sings The Stretch and throws out the first pitch at Wrigley.

 

 

With this kid’s great attitude and 1000 watt smile…he’s gonna go pretty damn far in this town. Hopefully, he’ll be OK on the hardwood, too.

I’m surprised Len Kasper didn’t bring up the fact that Korver claims how much he hated the Bulls & Michael Jordan growing up. Scratch that, I’m not surprised at all.

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,MLB,Chicago Cubs,Wrigley Field,Chicago Bulls,Kyle Korver,three point specialist,7th Inning Stretch,Take Me Out To The Ballgame,Len Kasper,first pitch,high definition video

Video homage to Andre Dawson on his Hall of Fame induction.

 

 

Very nice little tribute to The Hawk on the greatest of weekends by WGN here. And it’s so nice to hear Harry Caray I don’t even know what to say, so I won’t.

Mr. Cub Ernie Banks sings The Stretch at Wrigley.

 

 

I hate to bash Mr. Cub, but c’mon already. This is like when grandpa got into the Christmas wine a few hours early. All the wild gesticulation definitely isn’t necessary, but keeping up with the song is. Ernie might have to retire from singing after this.

Ernie was the first ballplayer I can remember who would wear his own ‘Mr. Cub’ logo hat everywhere instead of a regular blue Cubs cap. I always hated that. We all know who he is for crissake. But he wanted to have his own ‘brand’ like all the other cool kids, so he completely eschewed the team and logo that made him a household name. I plan on doing that someday too. When all your kids are wearing one of my fancy ‘CC’ logo caps around town to church and whatnot, I’ll just grab whatever they have at the souvenir stand on the way into the ballpark and sport that for a year or so, like always.  

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,MLB,Chicago Cubs,Wrigley Field,Ernie Banks,7th Inning Stretch,seventh,Take Me Out To The Ballgame,Mr. Cub,high definition video,St. Louis Cardinals

Dwyane Wade discusses choosing Miami with Jimmy Kimmel.

 

 

Someone, somewhere still doesn’t get it. These guys going on national TV trying to salvage their ‘brand’ and in turn jokingly bragging about the huge markets and proud franchises they collectively spurned…is a bad idea. Bad. Who does not get that? And Kimmel brilliantly drinks it all in. Notice at the end he got a dig in at Wade for all us Chi-towners. I bet that was explicitly designed for some hateful sports blogger like me to mention. As a matter of fact, it probably was meant directly for me. So, here ya go, Jimmy. Mission accomplished. Just let me know what you need next. We’ll use the extra-fourth-letter-of-your-monologue method on the first Tuesday of the month like always.

Orioles manager Juan Samuel is nuts.

 

 

I hate posting stuff from Baseball Tonight, but with no Cubs it’s a slow night and this is pretty good. Juan Samuel has a lot to live up to as an Oriole manager, though. This wouldn’t even make an Earl Weaver top 20. of 1978.

However, you can’t disagree with the sentiment. Another jackass umpire who insists he’s right…to the potential detriment of other men’s livelihoods…when he’s clearly wrong, yet again.

Who do I have to bang to get some instant replay up in this beyotch? Cause I’ll do what it takes.

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,MLB,Baltimore Orioles,Juan Samuel,Minnesota Twins,Ty Wigginton,thrown out,tossed from game,argument,umpire wrong,missed call,high definition video

5 year old hit baseballs on Jimmy Kimmel.

 

 

Thank god the great Adam Corolla is here to quasi-save this painfully lame bit. Corolla could make anything funny. Adam Corolla could make the Tea Party laugh. (cause, you know, they’re a pretty serious bunch.) Adam Corolla is so hilarious he could probably even make a Ben Stiller movie funny. (cause, you know, they aren’t funny…do I have to explain everything to you?) And while we’re being honest here, that kid doesn’t get good wood on anything. He would only make the Cubs 40 man roster, not the big club. Yet.  

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,ABC,Jimmy Kimmel,Adam Corolla,little kid,batting practice,Cousin Sal,pitching machine,high definition video

Ted Lilly is a real man.

 

 

How about that Theodore Roosevelt Lilly? First, he gets knocked on his ass by a vicious line drive and then the next time at-bat he tries to leg out a bunt for his first hit of the season. All this while rumors swirl of his eventual (if not inevitable) departure to a contender. Did you know that there is no theory of evolution? Just a list of creatures Ted Lilly has allowed to live. Ted Lilly counted to infinity – twice. Some people wear Superman pajamas…Superman wears Ted Lilly pajamas.

Then, Teddy finally got that elusive hit. Now, he can be traded to a National League team!

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,MLB,Chicago Cubs,Wrigley Field,Ted Lilly,Houston Astros,bunt hit,hit by line drive,up the middle,high definition video

Aramis Ramirez’ 3 home runs lead Cubs comeback and offensive explosion.

 

 

I’m glad I never jumped on the ‘ditch Aramis Ramirez’ bandwagon. I said that a guy of his stature gets to suck for an entire season plus before changes need to be made. Or something like that. I never remember what crap I write. Like, I know somewhere I predicted that Lou would announce his retirement yet finish the season, but can’t find it to save my damn life. But I said it. Oh yes.

It was very nice not to see the Cubs lay down and die after being down 7-1 early. This is the offense we always knew they had. Unfortunately, this lovely little offensive resurgence is coinciding not-so-nicely with the total collapse of the starting pitching.  Comme ci, comme ca.

Now that Lou is definitely gone at season’s end, this is a good time for guys fighting for at-bats to audition for the ex-big league manager who sees them every day and is itching to get back into the skipper role, Bob Brenly Alan Trammell.

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,MLB,Chicago Cubs,Wrigley Field,Aramis Ramirez,3 home run day,baseball,Lou Piniella,post game interview,Go Cubs Go,high definition video

Scott Sanderson sings The Stretch at Wrigley.

 

 

I originally wasn’t going to post this. The mic is off at the beginning and that throws the whole song off. Plus, equating Sanderson with Woody from Toy Story is something, while apropos, I wouldn’t want to do to a great longtime Cub like him. I was just thinking yesterday how Sean Marshall is turning into a new generation Scott Sanderson, too. I must have ESP. Extra Sanderson Perception. (I just sat here for like 10 minutes thinking of that.)

But when Sanderson launched into a story about facing Andre Dawson when they were both in the American League and the need for pitchers to protect their teammates, it instantly became clip-worthy. Congrats, Scott Sanderson! You made it!

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,MLB,Chicago Cubs,Wrigley Field,7th Inning Stretch,Take Me Out To The Ballgame,Scott Sanderson,Len Kasper,Bob Brenly,Andre Dawson,throw at,head hunter,purpose pitch,hit batter,protection,intentional,high definition video,interview

Bill Kurtis sings The Stretch at Wrigley.

 

 

I have always found it hard to take Bill Kurtis seriously to be honest. That absurdly affected voice just cries out for ridicule. If you looked in the dictionary under ‘pompous windbag blowhard’…what the hell are you still doing with a dictionary? This is 2010, we use Google. But I’m sure you get the point.

You can’t fool Cubs fans with shallow puffery and cut-rate baubles, however. When Kurtis starts throwing stuffed animals to the crowd like he’s King Midas on the royal throne tossing the minions some cake, good, honest Cubs fans get pissed enough to throw them back as if they are Ryan Howard home run balls. Take that you filthy Kurtis! “Play Ball”, indeed.

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,MLB,Chicago Cubs,Wrigley Field,7th Inning Stretch,Take Me Out To The Ballgame,Bill Kurtis,mockery,angry fans,stuffed bears,animals,high definition video

Blackhawks Stanley Cup champ Dave Bolland’s Wrigley Field first pitch & WGN interview.

 

 

I had the footage of his first pitch the other day, but because it wasn’t that great I only Twittered it. (that’s right bitches) But now that there is a completely boring yet somehow compelling interview on today’s WGN News, I figured a hardcore Hawks fan might appreciate the video. Interviewer Steve Sanders fumbles like he lost a contact and Bollard isn’t exactly Jerry Lewis, and somehow you can’t look away, but I bet you can’t watch twice. I had another whole joke set up right here somehow equating this video with The Godfather, but in retrospect it wasn’t really funny at all. You’re welcome. I’ll do my best to spare you similarly, as often as possible, in the future.

On a side note, I never thought I would like Twitter as much as I do and yes I realize how retarded that sounds. The interesting part is that every time I plug this website there…I lose followers. That doesn’t make much sense to me. But then again, an octopus picked all the World Cup games right so what the hell do I know. And don’t follow me if you already don’t. I have plugged it plenty and you have had ample opportunity. Go LeBron yourself. (I need to start a Wikipedia page for the term ‘LeBron yourself’)    

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,MLB,NHL,Chicago Blackhawks,Chicago Cubs,first pitch,WGN News,Steve Sanders,Dave Bolland,Stanley Cup,championship,high definition video

Little kid throws back Ryan Howard home run ball at Wrigley.

 

 

This is just solid parenting, in my opinion. How else would that little hero know what to do with a visiting home run ball at Wrigley Field? His cousin even tried to stop him and he fought through to get that revolting ball out of the bleachers as quickly as possible. I know it’s his cousin because those two kids, one a coward and one a conqueror, couldn’t have been brought up by the same parents.

Think of how strong this kid’s ‘Bleacher cred’ now is for the rest of his life. Also, he’s got a nice little arm on him. The Cubs should sign him up quick.

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,MLB,Chicago Cubs,Wrigley Field,Philadelphia Phillies,Ryan Howard,home run,left field bleachers,left field sucks,right field is cool,little kid,throw it back,high definition video

Geovany Soto’s blunder at home costs the Cubs a precious game at Wrigley.

 

 

Don’t get me wrong, Carlos Marmol was horrible today as well, but this is a play the fat kid you stick behind the plate in Little League should make. Colvin makes a perfect throw to beat the runner by 10 feet at home and Soto’s haste not only cost the Cubs a nice 3-game winning streak…but all important momentum. Lou agrees with me, too.

Think about it, going into the 9th, the only run had been scored on a suicide squeeze(!), and the Cubs were looking to take the first 3 games after the break from the two time defending NL champs, at home on a beautiful Chicago summer Saturday in front of 41,000+ rabid (drunk) fans frantic to celebrate their collective hope for a salvaged 2010 season.

Instead, thanks to Soto’s ineptitude, we all got bupkis and, as a Cubs fan, you are almost duty-bound to start some shit with anyone wearing red and that can only lead to a night in the Belmont & Western drunk tank. Now, I have to get bailed out by my drama-queen ex-girlfriend Kristin who cheated on me with her metrosexual co-worker Kyle because she’s the only one who can get there quickly enough to save me from spending the weekend at the Cook County lockup. And then she thinks that means we’re back together.  

See what happens when you don’t catch the goddamn ball, Geo?*

*story is fictional. C’mon…you should know by now I’ve never had a ‘girlfriend’.

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,MLB,Chicago Cubs,Philadelphia Phillies,Wrigley Field,Geovany Soto,Carlos Marmol,blown save,error at home plate,mistake,retard,Tyler Colvin,post game press conference,Lou Piniella,high definition video

Aramis Ramirez caps Cubs comeback win over Phillies.

 

 

Meet the new boss. Same as the old boss. Nice to have the most clutch Cubs hitter since Billy Williams seemingly back on track. Hopefully Aramis  isn’t showcasing his resurgent talents so the Rockies or someone can make a crappy half-hearted run at the Wild Card.

I left in Marmol’s game-ending strikeout and Aramis’ on-field post-game interview.

On a mostly unrelated note, it’s weird how much I have come to appreciate the Kasper/Brenly broadcast team lately. When I edit these clips, I always look for a natural break in the commentary for my cuts and Kasper/Brenly are really good at giving me that point. Len seems to always want to start every pitch ‘fresh’ if you will and he, along with the producer, are very good at synching the end of his comment with the beginning of the center field camera shot. And Brenly also knows his job and does it very well. I’m only talking flow here, not content. Len will call the play, Bob will make his analysis, then a Cubs logo wipe transition and then the next pitch. Easy for a hack doofus like me to edit. But these last couple of days without Brenly (he is watching his son Michael play for the Daytona Cubs in the Florida State League), Zonk Moreland and Todd Hollandsworth just do not know the benefit of shutting the hell up sometimes. Case in point, I added Go Cubs Go, as I often do, to the clip above. Len calls the game-ending strikeout and then wants to get right to the singing as usual, but Hollandsworth goes on for like 30 unnecessary seconds which is something Brenly would never do. Also, the guys on ESPN and FOX are brutal in this regard. They talk over everything and I often have to fade-in in the middle of a sentence.

I still think Cubs fans deserve more dynamic personalities in the booth, but until I’m hired for that gig…Len and Bob are doing just fine.     

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,MLB,Chicago Cubs,Wrigley Field,Aramis Ramirez,Carlos Marmol,Len Kasper,Bob Brenly,game winning home run,high definition video,Philadelphia Phillies,Billy Williams

Alfonso Soriano is a good fielder. Pt.½

 

 

If I giveth the criticism, I must giveth the praise. But let’s not go overboard here. He’s not quite Ted Williams out there. Yes…yes…he did try on this one…which is more than I can say for most of his other defensive opportunities. But he fell over his own feet like a fat kid chasing the ice cream truck so you’ll forgive me if I don’t award him a gold glove just yet. And I do have that power, you know.  

SEE ALSO:

Alfonso Soriano sucks at fielding.

Alfonso Soriano sucks at fielding. Pt. 117

Alfonso Soriano sucks at fielding. Pt. 1,284

Alfonso Soriano sucks at fielding. Pt. 2,912

Alfonso Soriano sucks at fielding. Pt. 3,511

Alfonso Soriano sucks at baserunning. Pt. 1

Alfonso Soriano sucks at baserunning. Pt. 2

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,MLB,Chicago Cubs,Wrigley Field,Alfonso Soriano,Lou Piniella,actual effort,EFFORT YOU SAY?,nice catch,great play,high definition video

Keith ‘Zonk’ Moreland sings The Stretch at Wrigley.

 

 

Zonk gets largely overlooked as a great longtime Cub because, while he played a solid right field throughout the mid 80’s…when the ballclub was pretty decent…in ’87, Andre Dawson came to town and Zonk was instantly cast aside and ultimately traded.

Zonk did a very nice job on the color analysis during last night’s game while Bob Brenly is watching his son play in the Florida State League (my old league, too) and today he’s singing The Stretch, so it’s great to see him back in the fold. The Cubs need to do a lot more of that, in my oh so humble opinion.

2 quick fun facts about Zonk. Not only did he play baseball at Texas (Hook ‘em), but he played football, too. And not only did he and Cubs hitting coach Rudy Jaramillo play together at UT, they also played together in high school. Well, I thought they were fun facts. In retrospect, not so much fun as kinda boring.

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,MLB,Chicago Cubs,Wrigley Field,7th Inning Stretch,Take Me Out To The Ballgame,Keith Zonk Moreland,Texas Longhorns,two sport star,Andre Dawson,high definition video

Rory McIlroy is ambidextrous.

 

 

Hell, when I was 21, I had a hard time doing shots of Jameson with my left hand, much less this. I mean, I still did them…practice eventually makes perfect, you know.

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,PGA Tour,The Open Championship,British Open,Rory McIlroy,golf ball,bounce,wedge,golf club,high definition video,Tiger Woods

Tracy Morgan auditions for the role of Nelson Mandela in Invictus.

 

 

If you have ever heard Tracy Morgan on Howard Stern, you know how flat out filthy funny the guy is. Nothing is taboo with him. I can’t wait to hear his comic take on the BP oil spill. That will be hilarious! (again, to those of you new to the site, that was a joke. there is nothing funny about manmade environmental catastrophe. except maybe all those pelicans too lazy to avoid the oil. again, to those of you…)

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,ESPN,2010 ESPY's,Tracy Morgan,Nelson Mandela,Matt Damon,Morgan Freeman,Invictus,audition tape,high definition video

Cubs crush Phillies to open the 2010 2nd half.

 

 

Where have these guys been all year? From Starlin Castro stealing home (technically) after a crushed triple, to Ramirez’ two 2-run doubles to home runs for Lee, Soriano, Soto to terrific starting pitching by Dempster…these are the Chicago Cubs we hoped to see in April. Unfortunately, it’s mid July.

The only negative was the four runs given up by Bobby Howry in the 9th but that’s to be expected from someone who sucks. Maybe it’s time to bring back up Jeff Samardzija, who’s 5-1 with 49 K’s in 48.2 innings since being sent down to Iowa, so the 2011 manager can evaluate whether or not the ex-WR has a real future in the majors or not.

And now, for your viewing pleasure the 2nd half of the 2010 season’s first edition of Go Cubs Go.

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,MLB,Chicago Cubs,Wrigley Field,Philadelphia Phillies,Starlin Castro,Derrek Lee,Aramis Ramirez,Alfonso Soriano,Ryan Dempster,Geovany Soto,home run,triple,double,steal home,stolen base,Go Cubs Go,Bobby Howry,high definition video

I feel kinda dirty.

“If you’re going to work in a whorehouse, there’s only one thing to be: the best whore in the house.”

- Peter Fallow - The Bonfire of the Vanities

Cowboys are the Favorites at the NFC East.

 

The Dallas Cowboys finally won a playoff game last year, but somehow they are among the top three favorites to many experts for the upcoming NFL season.  I guess it is because they have one big motivation for the 2010 season.

As you know, the 2010 Super Bowl will be hosted in February 2011 in the new Cowboys stadium. This could give Dallas a hope to get back into the big game after many years, something to consider if you are a NFL betting fan.

The expectations are high, not only for that, but because they seem prepared to fight against the top team on both ends of the field. As I said before, they have a legitimate chance to make NFL history if they win a Super Bowl being played in their own city.

On offense, they seem pretty packed with Tony Romo leading this team but with amazing weapons at his disposal.

Roy Williams, Miles Austin, possibly Patrick Crayton. Jason Witten and now Dez Bryant are part the arsenal that Romo will have.

Also, Marion Barber should come into this season without any possible injury, so they will have an amazing passing game combined with strong running.  To me, they seem to be the contenders for the NFC East.

However, to be NFL contenders, their pass defense will need to improve because the defense of their opponents looks pretty good too.

Philadelphia looks to be an even more powerful passing team than they have been in years past with Kevin Kolb in charge.

Washington should be more competitive with a veteran like Donovan McNabb distributing the ball instead of Jason Williams, who was a mistakes machine.

And Eli Manning and the Giants picked the Cowboys pass defense apart last season as they were the only team to beat them twice.

The Cowboys should be ready for them, but no one can deny the motivation to play at the Super Bowl at home.