Aww, what a shame. We didn’t win. What disappointment you must feel, huh? We’ll never, ever forget these guys names, right? Because they made the second round at the World Cup one time way back in 2010. When they lost to Ghana. Right?
Please. Maybe now you’ll realize how much soccer truly sucks. Let’s face it, there is only one biggest deal in the sport and that’s only every 4 years, which half the time we don’t qualify for anyway, and in any regard, you know we’ll never, ever win.
Now baseball has one US winner every single year. (America’s top hat, Canada, has only won twice…USA! USA!!) Baseball is a game ripe with tradition and just imperfect enough to be our national freaking past time. Go ahead. Watch some baseball on FOX tonight. I won’t tell anyone. Learn a few of the names and then pick the Yankees to win the World Series at work tomorrow. Even if they don’t, they’ll go far enough into the playoffs where you can get some of that good ol’ American sports thrill back.
Because soccer’s over for a while.