Clubhouse Cancer

BJ Armstrong sings the stretch at Wrigley.

 

 

Gawd, BJ looks exactly the same as he did when the Bulls drafted him out of Iowa 21 freaking years ago. In related news, I’m significantly fatter and uglier that I was just last week.

A little known fact is that Armstrong is also Derrick Rose’s agent (they may have discussed that in the interview portion, but I didn’t watch), which is how I knew 48 hours before the Bulls drafted Rose where he was going. My (former) source inside the Bulls informed me there was a significant reason why Rose picked Armstrong.

Also, I am starting to think that there is a mandate for anyone even remotely associated with the Bulls organization to not ever sing the “…root, root, root for the Cubbies…” part of the song. BJ knows which side his bread is buttered on.

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,MLB,Chicago Cubs,Chicago Bulls,Wrigley Field,B.J. Armstrong,7th Inning Stretch,seventh,Take Me Out To The Ballgame,Jerry Reinsdorf,Derrick Rose

VIDEO: Mike Conway’s car disintegrates at the Indy 500.

 

 

It’s quite a testament to the safety of the Indy car that Conway only has a busted left leg and a broken bone in his back. By all rights he should be getting outfitted for a #24 coffin today. (sponsored by Roll Coater, of course) In any event, I’m sure Ashley Judd would have figured out a way to get some camera time over the tragedy.

Hopefully Conway will recuperate quickly and get back on the track as soon as possible. If he’s in the 2011 Indy 500, which is when I will next write about the IRL (Dancia excluded), we’ll all celebrate his full recovery together.

Oh, and congrats to Mr. Ashley Judd for winning his second Indianapolis 500.  

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,IRL,Indianapolis 500,Indy,Mike Conway,horrific crash,disintegrate,shred,broken leg,Danica Patrick,Dario Franchitti,Ashley Judd,Borg-Warner Trophy,high definition video

Cubs get Pujol-ed (again).

 

 

What can you do but tip your hat and rejoice that you don’t see ‘Cub Killer’ Albert Pujols again until late July. Hopefully that last bomb will help quickly usher out the John Grabow era. (news now has Grabow headed to the DL)

The 3^rd homer also proves that the great Bob Brenly can get it wrong sometimes, too. Listen as he explains how to get Pujols out and watch where the pitch is that eventually lands some 400+ feet from home plate.

It’s hard for me to get excited over the seeming greatness of Pujols when I believe he is a legitimate HGH test away from disgrace.   

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,MLB,Chicago Cubs,St. Louis Cardinals,Albert Pujols,3 home run day,Wrigley Field,Ryan Dempster,John Grabow,disabled list,Bob Brenly,HGH,human growth hormone

Tomas Scheckter is an idiot.

 

 

Hey, I didn’t say it, Davey Hamilton did. That statement is pretty hard to argue with when you see the replay.

On a side note, I wonder if Jack Nicholson had dinner with his old co-star Jim Nabors last night. You did know that Jack was in two episodes of the Andy Griffith Show, right? Well, you do now.

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,IRL,Indianapolis 500,Indy,Tomas Scheckter,Davey Hamilton,Dr. Jerry Punch,crash,wreck,high definition video

“We’re gonna run the picket fence at ‘em!”

 

 

If there has ever been a more redemptive scene in the history of American cinema, you’re gonna have to point it out for me. Plus, the acting itself is breathtaking. That is not Dennis Hopper right there…that guy is Shooter.

RIP Dennis Hopper. Hopper was in Rebel Without A Cause…Easy Rider...AND Apocalypse Now for christ’s sake. Not to mention Giant, The Sons of Katie Elder, Cool Hand Luke, True Grit, Blue Velvet, Hoosiers, True Romance, Speed and he was the original bad guy in 24. Wow. Talk about your life well-lived.

Don’t get caught watchin’ the paint dry.

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,Dennis Hopper,death,Hoosiers,run the picket fence,Rebel Without a Cause,Apocalypse Now,Easy Rider,high definition video,James Dean,Rock Hudson

Cubs players wish the Blackhawks good luck in the Stanley Cup Finals.

 

 

It’s always cool to see players from one team in a city cheering hard for their buddies on a team in a different sport. Kinda like when the Harlem Globetrotters were on Gilligan’s Island. Or not.

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,MLB,Chicago Cubs,Wrigley Field,2010 Stanley Cup Finals,Chicago Blackhawks,Ryan Dempster,Sean Marshall,Kosuke Fukudome,Randy Wells,Harlem Globetrotters,high definition video

NHL releases a Stanley Cup promo video featuring Eminem.

 

 

Exactly what I think of when you say the word ‘hockey’…Eminem. Taylor Swift must have been busy.

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,NHL. Chicago Blackhawks,Philadelphia Flyers,2010 Stanley Cup Finals,Eminem,music video,high definition video,Taylor Swift

VIDEO: Indians pitcher David Huff hit in the head by a line drive from A-Rod.

 

Warning: Graphic content. Not like Kendra Wilkinson XXX graphic, but pretty graphic-y nonetheless.  

I have said it before and I’ll say it again. Someone is going to have to lose their life before MLB outlaws maple bats. I bet you just can’t wait to be the person martyred in the name of baseball bat safety, huh? (espn)

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,MLB,New York Yankees,Cleveland Indians,David Huff,Alex Rodriguez,line drive,hit in head,injured,maple bat,high definition video

Brazilian footballer Ronaldinho throws out the first pitch at Wrigley.

 

 

I was thinking about this guy and I wonder if there has ever been a Chicago Cub who could rival Ronaldinho’s fame on a global scale? So, OK…he is more popular than any Cubs player ever…and probably 75% of the fans at Wrigley today had zero idea who he was. Classic American apathy toward soccer.

In case you weren’t wondering, I’ll probably put up some stuff about the world cup because, well, this is kind of a sports site and TMZ has all the breaking Heidi Montag news covered. Plus, I’m more than happy to get into it once every four years, same as track & field or, you know, bobsledding. (I would have said ice hockey, but even I’m at my limit of hate mail for the week.)

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,MLB,Chicago Cubs,Wrigley Field,first pitch,Ronaldinho,Brazil,soccer,futbol,2010 World Cup,AC Milan,Heidi Montag,apathy

Marlon Byrd and Cubs get hosed late against the Cardinals.

 

 

I’m pretty sure I have never taken to the website to bitch about one single pitch throughout a game filled with 300 or so others, but THAT BALL WAS A FREAKING FOOT OUTSIDE GODDAMN IT.

That being said, I guess Randy Wells could have gotten one out. The last Cubs starting pitcher who didn’t record a single out was the late Jeremi Gonzales in 1998. I guess lightening does strike twice. (too soon?)

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,MLB,Chicago Cubs,St. Louis Cardinals,Marlon Byrd,bad call,missed,strike out,high definition video,Wrigley Field

Bears TE Greg Olsen sings the stretch at Wrigley.

 

 

Kinda wooden and emotionless, similar to the way he plays football. It must be pretty tough for Olsen to sit and answer questions about Mike Martz and the Bears new high-powered offense knowing it’s probably only 50/50 or so for him to start the 2010 season with the team.

I included the Olsen’s interview with Len & Bob because at the end he talks about meeting up with Terrell Owens at a Chicago nightclub last Sunday night…well, technically Monday morning. They were at a joint called ‘Underground’ which is a late-night hipster/poser club, which probably fit T.O. perfectly.

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,NFL,MLB,Chicago Cubs,Chicago Bears,Greg Olsen,tight end,Mike Martz,Lovie Smith,Len Kasper,Bob Brenly,7th Inning Stretch,seventh,Take Me Out To The Ballgame,high definition video

Suns coach Alvin Gentry vomits on the bench during a playoff game.

 

 

The old ‘fried avocado’ excuse, huh? I have taken a million food safety classes and it takes him having eaten something pretty fantabulously funky to be puking just a few hours later. And while I don’t buy the avocado bullshiz for one quick second, I don’t necessarily prescribe to the ‘he was poisoned’ theory Reggie Miller is floating in the clip above.

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,NBA,Phoenix Suns,Los Angeles Lakers,Alvin Gentry,vomit,puke,throw up,Charles Barkley,Reggie Miller,fried avocado,high definition video

Michael Jordan plays for the other team.

 

 

Here is some soundless yet oddly soothing video of the Michael Jordan statue outside the United Center dressed in a Jonathan Toews Blackhawks jersey that I completely ripped off another website and I know they read Clubhouse Cancer, so I’d just like to friendily suggest that you guys make your goddamn video player more easily embeddable so I won’t have to steal your shit. When you think about it, this is really your fault.

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,NBA,NHL,Michael Jordan,Jonathan Toews,Chicago Bulls,Chicago Blackhawks,basketball,hockey,statue,United Center,2010 Stanley Cup Finals

The crazy life and times of Ron Artest continue.

 

 

Only Ron Artest can go from being the goatiest brother in the joint to the hero of the season in less than a minute. I tell you…even though he dicked it up in the past but good…Artest is bringing me around. He’s honest and open and in the moment and that is cool as hell.

I’m not even joking when I say this is what sports can be. It kicks you in the nuts one second and then gives you a moment in your life you’ll never forget.

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,NBA,Los Angeles Lakers,Phoenix Suns,Ron Artest,Kobe Bryant,Western Conference Finals,last second shot,buzzer beater,goat,hero,Marv Albert,Phil Jackson,high definition video

Cubs beat Dodgers 1-0 behind Ted Lilly’s gem.

 

 

Now this was a fun game to watch! The Cubs scored the game’s only run in the bottom of the 8^th, which means the entire crazy crowd stayed for the whole game on a gorgeous Thursday afternoon at Wrigley Field.

I have made this statement before, but perhaps it bears repeating, that Carlos Marmol has hall of fame stuff if he can just keep the walks down. And Lou needs to find a way to get Tyler Colvin in the lineup on a daily basis.

Cute little game from the Dodgers losing pitcher, rookie righthander John Ely who grew up in Chicago’s South ‘burbs and went to school with two of my first cousins. And is a White Sox fan. Ahem. Welcome to the party, pal.

A little Go Cubs Go heading into a beautiful holiday weekend never hurt anybody.

 

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,MLB,Chicago Cubs,Los Angeles Dodgers,Ted Lilly,Carlos Marmol,Lou Piniella,Wrigley Field,Go Cubs Go,John Ely,Homewood-Floosmoor High School

Sex and the City 2’s Willie Garson sings the stretch at Wrigley.

 

 

I watched one episode of that ridiculous show, only because the great Chris Noth (aka Mike Logan, Lennie Briscoe’s longtime partner) was in the show. As you can probably imagine, that was pretty much all I needed. I was a ‘one & done’ viewer. I even had to look up just now if it was ‘Sex and the City’ or ‘Sex in the City’. To be honest, I had no idea Willie Garson was even in the show/movies. I only know him from the transcendent NYPD Blue and the recent hit show White Collar on USA. This post probably won’t make his wiki page.

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,MLB,Chicago Cubs,Los Angeles Dodgers,Willie Garson,Sex and the City 2,Sarah Jessica Parker,Ferris Bueller,7th Inning Stretch,seventh,Take Me Out To The Ballgame,Wrigley Field,NYPD Blue,White Collar,high definition video,Chris Noth

My sympathies, Dodger fans.

 

 

If I had to watch Manny Ramirez play left field every day, I’m not sure what I’d do. Since suicide probably wouldn’t help the problem much, I would settle for leading a band of pitch-fork wielding marauders to Chavez Ravine once a week or so until a blog like this one picked up on my plight and wrote a scathing, yet fair, post. After that, I’d probably lose interest and just randomly throw shit at the TV like the rest of you.

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,MLB,National League,Chicago Cubs,Los Angeles Dodgers,Manny Ramirez,left field,errors,defensive replacement,liability,terrible,horrible,lazy,fat,stupid

Meet Jim Cornelison who sings the National Anthem before Blackhawks games.

 

 

Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice that WGN did a piece about this guy whose Anthem rendition inspires countless Americans, but it almost seems like the reporter Rich King only did the segment to shoehorn in some video of his own wedding, which is exceedingly cheesy for a ‘journalist’ to do.

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,NHL,Chicago Blackhawks,Jim Cornelison,National Anthem,Star Spangled Banner,United Center,high definition video,WGN News,Mark Suppelsa,Rich King

Don Rickles has still got it.

 

 

Nothing like an octogenarian joking about banging a cocktail waitress from 50 years ago to start your day off funny.

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,CBS,David Letterman,Don Rickles,gap toothed waitress,joke,funny,Mr. Warmth,Frank Sinatra,high definition video

Blackhawks announcer Pat Foley sings the stretch at Wrigley.

 

 

As I have written, I’m not a hockey guy, but that doesn’t keep me from appreciating the one-of-a-kind brilliance of Blackhawks broadcaster Pat Foley. If you are a die-hard hockey nut who lovingly refers to his girlfriend as a ‘Gordie Howe hat trick’, then you surely worship the ground on which he walks, but even if you’re a hockey novice who thinks the ‘blue line’ is only a train out to O’Hare, Pat Foley will enlighten, entertain and inspire you.

What makes it better for a nerd like me is during the interview segment with Len & Bob (too long to include), Foley invokes the hallowed names of Lloyd Petit and Jack Quinlan, legendary voices who, along with Jack Brickhouse and Phil Georgeff, would make up the Mount Rushmore of Chicago sports broadcasters.

If you don’t like Pat Foley, there’s not really too much you’re ever going to dig about this site, but if you check out my new friends at SportSpyder, I’m sure you’ll find something better.

Foley’s first pitch:

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,MLB,Chicago Cubs,Los Angeles Dodgers,Wrigley Field,7th Inning Stretch,seventh,Take Me Out To The Ballgame,singing,Pat Foley,Chicago Blackhawks,2010 Stanley Cup Finals,Gordie Howe,Jack Quinlan,Phil Georgeff,Jack Brickhouse,Philadelphia Flyers,first pitch,Glenview

Local power outage interrupts Cubs/Dodgers at Wrigley Field.

 

 

Keep in mind this happened the next half inning after the Cubs had the bases loaded with nobody out and didn’t score. I guess that doesn’t mean much except maybe it broke some of the probable tension in the stands. A shared occurrence like this bonds you as fans. I was in the stands at Wrigley the day Darryl Kile died and they did a very cool thing which was let the fans stay in the ballpark as long as we wanted and hang out. It was a gorgeous day and we had great seats right behind home plate, so we chilled out for an hour or so drinking beer in the most amazing place in the world with other people who had also overpaid for tickets to a Saturday Cubs/Cardinals game at Wrigley Field. I bet the fans in the ballpark today had a similar circumstance of bonding with the people around them and ultimately enhanced their overall gameday experience. Which is how I would pitch it to Ricketts if it were my freaking fault the lights went out.

Oh, and I stayed with Pat a little too long in the clip above until we got a juicy little nibble of Ron. You’re welcome.

But alas, it was nobody’s fault and there was a neighborhood-wide power outage:

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,MLB,Chicago Cubs,Los Angeles Dodgers,Wrigley Field,power outage,lights out,high definition video,Ron Santo,Pat Hughes,Len Kasper,Bob Brenly,Mark Suppelsa,WGN News

President Obama talks with Marv Albert at the White House.

 

 

One of the very few people I follow on Twitter last night Tweeted how Marv’s ‘piece looks like Greg Brady’s orange locks after Bobby sold him that faulty hair tonic, which is a great line and I’m jealous I’m not smarter so as to have thought of it first.

I’m personally shocked that the right wing attack engine hasn’t made a giant deal out of President Obama doing an interview at the White House with someone that has Marv’s well known…umm…‘past’. I’m glad we’re beyond that, to be honest. Marv Albert is second to none in calling a basketball game and that (and maybe the awesome ‘toup) is how he should be known.

There are a few minor audio glitches in the clip, which is my fault. I will re-record the clip later and repost, but it takes me like 2 hours to convert and edit a clip this long, so be patient. Or just watch this one. Jeez. There’s no pleasing you.        

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,NBA,Los Angeles Lakers,Phoenix Suns,President Barack Obama,Marv Albert,White House,interview,LeBron James,Chicago Bulls,Charles Barkley,teabaggers,Greg Brady,hair tonic,orange hair

Marlon Byrd collides with the Dodgers’ James Loney at first base.

 

 

Nothing groundbreaking here. Everybody is fine. Keep it moving, folks. No need to stare.

Honestly, I have no idea why I recorded this. My liberal masters probably used the brain modifying laser feature of the new spy satellite that was launched late last week. Oops. I have revealed too much.     

 

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,MLB,Chicago Cubs,Los Angeles Dodgers,Marlon Byrd,James Loney,first base,collision,tangled up,run over,interference,Ivan DeJesus

Video highlights of Blackhawks players at Wrigley Field for a Cubs/Dodgers game.

 

 

Nice to see our pro teams supporting each other. I added a couple of post game interviews with winning pitcher Ryan Dempster speaking eloquently about his buddies on the Hawks. If there is a better spokesman in Chicago for the Blackhawks than Ryan Dempster, I have neither heard nor seen one. Dempster is a now true, lifelong Cub. No matter what happens when he leaves this city, if he wants to come back to Wrigley in any capacity…media member, pitching coach, beer vendor…he will be welcomed back with open arms and vociferous cheers.  

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Lee Arthur Smith gives up a game winning bomb to the 7th inning stretch at Wrigley.

 

 

This clearly wasn’t Lee Arthur’s night. He didn’t quite have his best stuff working.  

I’m including the interview portion of Lee Arthur’s appearance below to prove what an awesome dude he is, singing ability notwithstanding. Smith hasn’t played for the Cubs in since 1987 and he’s still close friends with the guy that works the scoreboard at Wrigley? That’s a cool guy.    

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