Did you know that every time Soriano lets another run in thanks to his sucktacular defensive ‘abilities’, they move Doomsday Clock: Jim Hendry Edition another minute closer to midnight? It’s at 11:57 right now. If it hits 12:00, not only is Soriano immediately banished from the National League, eventually Hendry has to hit flyballs to him for eternity in Hell.
Close your eyes and just listen to the boos cascade down over Soriano as he is removed by Piniella. Now imagine yourself there to join in the chorus. Feel better?