The Cubs signed Rudy Jaramillo as the team’s brand spanking new
scapegoat hitting coach on Wednesday. (See how I did that cutesy strikeout thing with scapegoat right there? That’s the clever blogger’s best friend. I’m so cutting edge.)
From Cubs.com:
Jaramillo’s hitters have won 17 Silver Slugger Awards, four Most Valuable Player Awards, three home run titles, and three RBI crowns under his tutelage. He had been the Rangers’ hitting coach since 1995, and worked with current Cubs outfielder Alfonso Soriano.
Sounds good, until you remember that MLB tests for steroids these days. Luckily, the tests for HGH coughcoughjoshhamiltoncough seem to be years away.
UPDATE: Sharp eyed reader/commenter ‘Ginger Russ’ noticed the exact same idiotic blogger’s technique I so proudly congratulated myself on above was also used on a website called ‘Hire Jim Essian’. I have mentioned before that I don’t read any sports blogs except the ones on SI.com, so if someone thinks I’m out there stealing ideas…who cares? I’ll just have to live with the utter shame.
