Clubhouse Cancer

Cubs ink new hitting coach.

The Cubs signed Rudy Jaramillo as the team’s brand spanking new scapegoat hitting coach on Wednesday. (See how I did that cutesy strikeout thing with scapegoat right there? That’s the clever blogger’s best friend. I’m so cutting edge.)

From Cubs.com:

Jaramillo’s hitters have won 17 Silver Slugger Awards, four Most Valuable Player Awards, three home run titles, and three RBI crowns under his tutelage. He had been the Rangers’ hitting coach since 1995, and worked with current Cubs outfielder Alfonso Soriano. 

Sounds good, until you remember that MLB tests for steroids these days. Luckily, the tests for HGH coughcoughjoshhamiltoncough seem to be years away.

UPDATE: Sharp eyed reader/commenter ‘Ginger Russ’ noticed the exact same idiotic blogger’s technique I so proudly congratulated myself on above was also used on a website called ‘Hire Jim Essian’. I have mentioned before that I don’t read any sports blogs except the ones on SI.com, so if someone thinks I’m out there stealing ideas…who cares? I’ll just have to live with the utter shame.

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,MLB,Chicago Cubs,Texas Rangers,Lou Piniella,Rudy Jaramillo,steroids,HGH

Is Jeff Fisher trying to get fired?

 

Just a couple of days after the “low point” in Titans/Oilers history (according to his owner, no less) head coach Jeff Fisher donned a Peyton Manning jersey at an event because, and I quote (also note the use of quotation marks, which will indicate this is a quote, as well), he “just wanted to feel like a winner.”

Hilarious! What an amazing sense of humor! It’s like that 59-ZERO thing never even happened just 48 short hours earlier. This reminds me of that time George Halas was seen sporting a Paul Hornig jersey as he traipsed around downtown Chicago in 1968. Or when George Washington would put on skits at Valley Forge dressed in only a ‘red coat’. Oh wait, those things never happened? Of course it didn’t. Those men had pride in their own uniforms.

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,NFL,Tennessee Titans,Indianapolis Colts,Jeff Fisher,Peyton Manning,George Halas,George Washington

Mark Cuban isn’t promoting steroid use as much as he’s promoting himself.

Mark Cuban is a self promoting douche, of that there can be little argument. To get ‘where he is’ in life, if that’s the kind of person you choose to be, demands you makes statements from time to time designed specifically to keep you in the media spotlight. Like his hero Donald Trump, Cuban wants people only to talk about him and the subject matter is generally irrelevant.

Cuban’s latest desperate attempt to stay controversial was to state he is “not so against steroids if they’re administered under proper supervision and there is no long-term damage.” He also said that steroids “may benefit people recovering from surgery.”

Did that really need to be said, Mark? Doctors have been administering steroids to help people recover from injury for decades, yet Mark Cuban now deems that he isn’t against it, so we should all give a crap?

What fake controversy will Cuban defiantly take on next…cigarettes causing cancer? (ppg)

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,NBA,Dallas Mavericks,Mark Cuban,Donald Trump,steroids,douchebag

Carve your very own Jay Cutler Jack-O-Lantern!

Boo! Scaaaary, isn’t it? This is what makes America great. Interceptions not included.

 

 

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,NFL,Chicago Bears,Jay Cutler,Halloween,Jack-O-Lantern,October 31