Tonight on ESPN’s MNF pre-game circle-jerk, Keyshawn Johnson…somehow mistaking himself for Jerry Rice or Walter Payton…likened Arizona Cardinals receiver Anquan Boldin to himself (natch) because he “goes over the middle to get the tough yards.”
Wait…huh? Run that by America again, Keyshawn. They haven’t stopped laughing in Tampa. (or Carolina…or New York…or Dallas…)
Why is a guy like Cris Carter…a certifiably tough as nails SOB who really did go across the middle and take countless cheap shots from brutal linebackers on the way to a HOF career…letting his boy ‘Key’ get away with revisionist BULLSHIT like that?!?
Keyshawn Johnson was easily one of the softest receivers of his day. Tippy toeing along the sidelines while Deion Sanders nudges you out of bounds is not quite getting the “tough yards”, Keydouche. His hardass NFL contemporaries such as Marvin Harrison and Issac Bruce make Johnson look like a ‘No on Prop 8’ voter. (which we would have voted NO for, had we lived in Cali)
And then there’s that “class act” comment.
Johnson thinks Boldin is classy just because…after Anquan spent the entire offseason demanding to be traded…he hasn’t continued his threats because he is now helping the Cardinals dominate the NFC West? Didn’t see that coming, ‘Quan?
Keyshawn Johnson has no place commenting on the classiness (or lack thereof) of any person on planet Earth, much less a player in the NFL. He was, quite possibly, the least classy player in American sports history…well, of anyone not named Bonds, that is. This is a guy who wrote an autobiography and titled it Just Give Me the Damn Ball! after his rookie year! We hear that even Terrell Owens goes to Johnson for asshole advice.
Keyshawn was so “classy” himself, they now actually call the act of a team sending a player home and paying his entire salary, just so you don’t have to put up with that player’s crap anymore, as getting “Keyshawn’d”. Puh-fucking-leeze.
Keyshawn Johnson wouldn’t know classy if it pulled out early and finished on the small of his back.

