Who would have thought that current Chicago Bear middle linebacker and former ferocious football player Brian Urlacher was so open minded when it comes to parenting techniques?
According to court documents filed on Tuesday, when his 3 year old son Kennedy visits, Urlacher “dresses his son in pink Cinderella diapers and paints the 3-year-old's toenails blue.”
Aww…how sweet.
The kid’s mother, Tyna Robertson, (who tricked the numbskull into impregnating her in the first place) has threatened to block Urlacher from seeing the boy if he insists on keeping up the fancy fashion situation.
After the Tuesday hearing, Robertson claimed her son has become confused by the toenail panting and wearing pull-ups designed for little girls.
“He pulls down his pants and says, ‘Mommy, look how pretty they are,’” she said.
Robertson also said Kennedy told her, “Big boys paint their nails,” and said he refused to take a bath for two days to keep the blue polish on his nails from washing off.
“He’d say, ‘Mommy, I don’t want to get my nails wet. I don’t want to mess them up,’” she said. “It took two hours to get him in the bath.”
Big boys paint their nails? Christ almighty, dude. Little kids don’t say shit like unless they’re parroting back something they have heard from a dipshit, unqualified parent.
Hopefully for him, by the time young Kennedy Urlacher gets to high school…where he will be expected to be a BMOC football super-stud…the internet will have somehow been destroyed. If not…it’s gonna be a long, rough life.
Way to go, Papa Urlacher…smart, as usual.
