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SI.com is reporting that the Los Angeles Dodgers, Pittsburgh Pirates and Boston Red Sox have completed a 3-way deal that has Manny Ramirez going to L.A. and Jason Bay headed to Beantown.
Los Angeles is definitely where Ramirez wanted to be, what with all those weed shops and all.
More to come…
A day after the Houston Rockets and Sacramento Kings agreed in principle to a deal sending Ron Artest to Houston for Bobby Jackson, Donte Greene and a first-round draft pick, Yao Ming, the ‘face of the franchise’, expressed concerns about team chemistry to the Houston Chronicle and referenced Artest’s involvement in the 2004 brawl with Pistons fans.
“Hopefully, he’s not fighting anymore and going after a guy in the stands,” Yao told the Chronicle.
That’s a wise, bold statement from a team leader. Of course, Artest felt the need to respond and spoke to the Sacramento Bee:
“I understand what Yao said, but I’m still ghetto,” Artest said, according to the report. “That’s not going to change. I’m never going to change my culture. Yao has played with a lot of black players, but I don't think he’s ever played with a black player that really represents his culture as much as I represent my culture. Once Yao Ming gets to know me, he’ll understand what I’m about.
“If you go back to the brawl, that’s a culture issue right there,” Artest added, according to the report. “Somebody was disrespecting me, so he’s got to understand where I’m coming from. People that know me know that Ron Artest never changed.”
Well, Yao currently plays with Rafer ‘Skip To My Lou’ Alston, a street-ball legend from Jamaica, Queens who actually represents all the best of his ‘culture’. Alston also toured America’s inner-cities several years ago making those ‘And 1’ mix tapes…so, right there Artest loses any ‘street cred’ argument. Alston gives back to his community, while Artest only steals what he can and moves on.
Also, why should Yao even have to ‘get to know’ a malcontent like Artest? What does Ron plan on learning about Yao and his culture? Yao Ming sacrifices anything and everything for his country. Yao Ming is a national treasure in his homeland and is held in the highest esteem by his countrymen.
In this country, Ron Artest is a national punchline who is best known as a selfish, childish, arrogant prick.
Don’t the Rockets already have one overpaid, unproven crybaby to deal with? What do they need with another?
Ken Griffey Jr. has approved a trade from the Cincinnati Reds to the Chicago White Sox that sends MLB’s newest member of the 600-HR Club back to the American League, where he starred with the Seattle Mariners in the 1990s.
In exchange the Reds will get infielder Danny Richar and pitcher Nick Masset from the White Sox.
The trade now only requires MLB’s authorization.
Just what the Sox need, another old, fat, left-handed bat who can barely play the field. Are you ready to potentially say goodbye to Paul Konerko White Sox fans? Or would you rather lose with your beloved captain still on the squad?
Now, multiple media reports are saying that when Packers President Mark Murphy traveled to Mississippi on Wednesday it was to offer Favre a ‘substantial salary’ to stay retired…some say up to $20M…which Favre fame-whoringly declined.
This is like that Seinfeld when ‘Play-Now’ found out that George was fake-handicapped and Gordon Jump from WKRP told him ‘I’ll see you in hell Costanza!’ when he turned down 6 months salary. Then, Play Now boarded up his office and George had to crawl in through the air duct, but ultimately George was proven too smart because he had padlocked his personal bathroom.
That’s what this is like.
Brett Favre has padlocked the hearts of a million cheeseheads.
That’s what you’ll be saying this time tomorrow. OK fine, nobody will actually say that…but the point is we will all be talking about the glorious Manny Ramirez Red Sox years in the past tense.
You just can’t go around saying things like:
“The Red Sox don’t deserve a player like me,” Ramirez said. “During my years here, I’ve seen how they [the Red Sox] have mistreated other great players when they didn’t want them to try to turn the fans against them.
“The Red Sox did the same with guys like Nomar Garciaparra and Pedro Martinez, and now they do the same with me. Their goal is to paint me as the bad guy,” Ramirez added. “I love Boston fans, but the Red Sox don’t deserve me. I’m not talking about money. Mental peace has no price, and I don’t have peace here.”
about a proud, historic franchise and expect to sleep the following night in their colors.
Maybe Manny is smarter than everyone thinks. He’s obviously using super-duper double reverse psychology.
Stupid Red Sox.
It’s hard to keep up to speed on Brett Favre’s desperate pleas for attention these days, but since ESPN.com is providing more video embed codes lately, here is Favre’s hillbilly agent ‘Bus’ Cook yapping about some crap with such an unintelligible Southern accent, the question may have been about the recent Battle of Bull Run, for all we can tell.
Paying attention Jim Hendry??
By the way, below is the greatest moment in Pudge Rodriguez’ career. Getting to hold Robin Ventura while a withered, elderly Nolan Ryan beats a smarmy young Ventura senseless? Priceless.
Remember a few years ago when the New York Giants were bitching about their new head coach Tom Coughlin? He’s not a ‘players coach’, we were told. His practices are too hard. He curses too much. A sensitive young quarterback like Eli Manning will never reach his full potential under such steely cold management.
Oh what a difference ditching a couple of Clubhouse Cancers makes.
With the ‘me-first’ twins Tiki Barber and Jeremy Shockey off the field, the Giants just went out and shockey’d the world this past February…and the good feelings seem to be carrying over to training camp, as the New York Post tells us.
“This is a good deal, the best training camp I’ve been a part of,” said linebacker Danny Clark, who played for Coughlin with Jacksonville, as well as the Giants. “It’s player friendly. He takes care of us on so many levels, he makes sure he gets the work he needs out of us. This is not the guy who drafted me in 2000. He’s definitely evolved and understands the game has changed a bit and players have also.”
A touchy-feely Tom Coughlin? What is this crazy, mixed-up world coming to? First thing you know, Ol’ Jed’s a millionaire…
Since the news is trickling out that nobody wants Reds strikeout machine Adam Dunn, especially the Reds…we have to wonder if Cincinnati would trade him to their division rival, the Cubs?
There can be no doubt that Dunn crushes at Wrigley, and they are definitely looking for another left-handed bat off the bench…
Opposing GM’s can question his work ethic all they want…if he can come in, hit some balls onto Sheffield in September…then we want him.
Hey, the Cubs already sold whatever souls that may have accidentally lingered when they signed Jim Edmonds…what’s another despicable Clubhouse Cancer in the mix gonna hurt?
In the name of all things Brickhouse, we are humbly asking you to make one out-on-to-Waveland, gigantic mega-deal before the trade deadline. Quite simply, you owe it to us. Clubhouse Cancer has personally spent at least $100K in Wrigleyville over the last 20 years, and that’s probably a helluva lot lower than thousands of our readers.
Cubs fans desperately need you to prove that our lifelong faith is justified. We need a sign.
Trade for Manny Ramirez if only to use him as a DH in Anaheim in October. Trade for Ichiro and platoon him in center with Reed Johnson and Jim (gulp) Edmonds. Trade for Alex Rodriguez. Trade for Derek Jeter. Sign Barry Bon…OK, let’s not go crazy.
Money doesn’t matter. Hell, you’re selling the team anyway.
But something.
Please.
Thank you,
Every Cubs Fan
Seriously. We all know that ESPN/Chicago Sun-Times power-bottom Jay Mariotti doesn’t go into locker rooms…so…where does he get the quotes he uses for his self-serving ‘column’?
Is there some magic Chicago Cubs quote service to which only he subscribes?
Or…like the rest of the accessless, yes that’s accessless, sports blogosphere…does he get his quotes from actual journalists down there in the trenches with the hitless and the naked?
Shouldn’t he have to provide links like the rest of us?
Until he does link to his quotes…consider everything he writes complete, fabricated bullshit. As usual.
Because we don’t want Jay Mariotti’s to be the only pic on this post, heeeeeere’s Anna:
Since the Cubs are proving to be a far superior team over Milwaukee, they need to look for inspiration to stay hungry anywhere they can, lest they grow bored of the cute little upstart Brewers.
Here is Mike Cameron robbing Derek Lee tonight of what would have been at least a two-run double.
Col. Nathan R. Jessep says:
LOOK AT IT, CUBS!! How dare he?!? Someone needs to put this bastard on his ass tomorrow night. Who’s man enough? You, Dempster? YOU, Marmol? One of you SOB’s better show that red-headed step-city who’s the goddamn boss of the NL Central!
They even have ivy on the outfield wall for fuck’s sake. Sheesh.
Remember around this time last year when Tiger won the WGC-Bridgestone Invitational by 8 strokes and was the only player in the field to finish the tournament under par? Yeah, neither did we. Had to look it up.
You can bet your bottom dollar that the players and the tournament directors and the sponsors and the marshalls and the caddies and the concession workers and the fans and everyone else even remotely connected to this week’s tournament do remember, however.
As ‘grumpy & frumpy’ Annika Sorenstam prepares for what will likely be her final major, (until she Favre-izes and unretires, of course) she had some choice words for Michelle Wie, her sport’s most popular and highest paid player, who will play at the PGA Tour's Legends Reno-Tahoe Open this week rather than the Women's British Open.
“You know, I really don't know why Michelle continues to do this,” Sorenstam said. “I mean, we have a major this week, and if you can’t qualify for a major, I don’t see any reason why you should play with the men.”
So, Annika…why do you use rhetoric like “I really don’t know why…” when you know exactly fucking why. Money. Dough. Moola. Plus, tons of free exposure that will only help expand her name recognition so as to eventually land more marketing partnerships, which then equate to more Money, Dough & Moola.
Don’t play stupid, Annika…it’s unbecoming of a woman your age.
Chris Mortensen and John Clayton must be shitting themselves at the news.
NASCAR apologized Tuesday for the tire fiasco that ruined its prestigious race at Indianapolis Motor Speedway and vowed to avoid a repeat.
“I can’t say enough how sorry we are and it’s our responsibility being NASCAR that we don’t go through this situation again,” said Robin Pemberton, vice president of competition.
“The race didn’t come off like we had hoped, the fans didn’t get what they exactly wanted and we’ll do everything in our power -- it won’t happen again, I can tell you that much.”
Notice how they didn’t offer full refunds to ticketholders like all the afternoon video blogs on ESPN screamed yesterday that they should.
Now, when will NASCAR get around to apologizing for the childish bully tactics of Tony Stewart?
Miami Heat superstar Dwayne Wade has shaved his head either because he wants to prove how serious he is about leading Team USA to the gold…or because he doesn’t trust Chinese barbers…or because he’s a prissy little schoolgirl…you decide.
From his latest Associated Press blog post:
For those of you who haven't checked out my latest video from Vegas, you're missing my new look. I've cut all my hair off. I've gone bald for the simple fact that I'm focused solely on basketball. I'm not concerning myself with waking up in the morning, brushing my hair trying to look pretty. I'm really focused on playing and bringing home the gold. Also, in China I'm not letting anybody cut my hair. If you're not my barber, it's not happening. The bald look will last me the next 30 days.
Ugh. Maybe we’re starting to believe those rumors of him banging the unbangable Star Jones.
Also, D-Wade is rockin’ the historic number 9 USA jersey that his hometown hero Michael Jordan famously filled on the way to two gold medals.
The Packers sure as hell don’t want him, and according to the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, an executive in personnel for one of the teams contacted by the Packers’ personnel department summed up the depressing message that Ted Thompson has been hearing. “We’re not interested; he’s not the right fit for us.”
As die-hard sports fans, it’s tough to watch one of the best NFL players of his generation stumble awkwardly into obscurity…but as Bears fans…we love every uncomfortable minute of it.
Fuck him if he can’t take a joke.
Think about it. Kerry Wood is seemingly always an extra ten pitches away from his career being over. His right arm is held together simply by the prayers of a century’s worth of Cubs fans.
Could a month or so off in the middle of a hot, grueling summer be just what the arm doctor ordered?
Now that Carlos Marmol is back to early season All-Star form, and Jeff Samardzija is Goose Gossage reincarnate…Kerry can take the time to heal that blister all up…and more importantly, rest that fragile yet necessary right cannon.
Told ya.
Remember back when Nicolette Sheridan was hot? Gas was like .69¢ a gallon…Eddie Murphy was funny…Lou Piniella was skinny…the Soviet Union was boycotting the Olympics…
Actually today is the 24th anniversary of the Opening of the 1984 Olympic Games in Los Angeles.
Remember that night?
L.A. Coliseum…Rafer fucking Johnson.
We once sat trying to sell some United Airlines dude some bullshit minor league sponsorship (which he bought, thank you very much) and he admitted he was the guy who directly stole the idea for Gershwin’s ‘Rhapsody in Blue’ from that exact night as United’s theme song and subsequently turned it into one of the greatest marketing ideas of the 20th century.
‘Rhapsody in Blue’ is on our iPod to this very day because of a night 24 years ago today.
Normally, you don’t expect a crusty old manager like Lou Piniella to embrace a highly touted rookie, but in the case of the Cubs new sensation Jeff Samardzija, Piniella practically gushes with unexpected praise.
“He went out there and pitched two solid innings in an important game,” Piniella said Sunday after Samardzija’s first career save.
“He’s very comfortable and has good stuff to go along with it. It didn’t faze him at all if it was the eighth or ninth or what. He was cool as a cucumber out there.”
Wow, Lou. If you handed out praise like that more often, guys in your ‘pen like ‘Stevie Ire’ (Scott Eyre) might think you actually know who they are.
“He’s a good-looking young pitcher,” Piniella fawned. “We needed one more good power arm [in the bullpen]. This kid looks like the right guy.”
Lou loves Samardzija so much he sounds like a starry-eyed ‘Golden Domer’ for fuck’s sake.
We think it can.
Here’s our hero Chad admitting he and Cincinnati Bengals QB Carson Palmer are currently fighting, and that he won’t hesitate to go after Palmer’s bad knee.
Now, some of you Chad-blowers out there may think this is funny…buuuut…it’s not.
Chad Johnson is an idiot. He’s like Homer Simpson, without all the feel-good endings. He’s Britney Spears-crazy just waiting to happen.
Good thing for him he plays in lowly Cincinnati, where it doesn’t matter what you do wrong…the world just doesn’t care.
T.O. shoves some cockiness down his new teammate Adam Jones’ throat yesterday at Cowboys training camp.
Damn, if these two aren’t the new Irvin and Deion. Hopefully, Jones’ head is on as straight as he’s been claiming lately.
If so, the Cowboys could be holding the Lombardi Trophy soon.
Here’s pretty boy pop-rocker Jon Bon Jovi hoisting the Arena Football League trophy over his head after his team the Philadelphia Soul beat the San Jose SaberCats 59-56 Sunday in Arena Bowl XXII.
Look at that monstrosity. It rivals only the Stanley Cup in its largesse…and is equally irrelevant.
Here is a look at the new pride of China, National Stadium in all its glory as the majestic sun dawns over ancient Beijing.
Did someone remind Kobe to pack his gas mask? You know, for breathing.
