Clubhouse Cancer

Devin Hester a surprise no-show at Bears camp.

Chicago Bears scintillating KR/WR Devin Hester has decided to hold out from training camp in hopes his absence will cause management to take his desire for a new contract more seriously.

Looks like Bears GM Jerry Angelo had no idea this was even a possibility, despite Hester’s agent Eugene Parker telling him as much a few days ago.

“He floated it out there, but I didn’t really take it serious because, as I say, we are still talking, we’re still in the process, there’s no closure. Usually when you say, ‘Hey, it’s over, take it or leave it, we’re out of money,’ you might get a reaction like that. But as you’re continuing on in negotiations as we have been, it is surprising.”

So, the Chicago Bears general manager is admitting he didn’t take the contract requests of HIS BEST PLAYER sincerely. That’s what he saying?!?

Unbelievable.

No wonder just yesterday Yahoo! Sports ranked Bears management 26^th out of 32 total NFL teams.

Devin Hester is easily the most exciting player the NFL has seen since Deion Sanders. He’s not a malcontent poser, he’s not a druggie, he doesn’t have ‘baby mama drama’.

He’s a good kid who has simply outplayed his contract.

PAY THE MAN!!

 

 

 

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,NFL,Chicago Bears,Devin Hester,Jerry Angelo

Sooners are nuts.

This just puts a stink on the heroic name ‘Billy’.

Luckily, we’re Texas fanatics.

HOOK ‘EM HORNS!!

 

 

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,NCAA Football,Oklahoma Sooners,Texas Longhorns,Red River Rivalry

Clemens, steroids & McCready saga continues.

The New York Times is reporting that nearly five months after Congress asked the Justice Department to weigh perjury charges against Roger Clemens, federal authorities remain determined to expand the case beyond the testimony of Brian McNamee.

Apparently authorities want at least one other witness who could directly link Clemens to the use of PED’s, in part because of concern that any case built almost entirely around McNamee’s assertions would be vulnerable to attacks on his credibility, which is of course, true.

Also, TMZ.com is alleging Clemens’ former paramour, super-slut con artist Mindy McCready tried to off herself last week with a combo of Vicodin and vodka because her latest sucker wised up and dumped that fatass cold.

Kill yourself with ‘V&V’? How? Isn’t that just a typical Wednesday?

 

 

 

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,MLB,Roger Clemens,Mindy McCready

Even a resurgent ‘Shark’ can’t help the PGA’s plummeting TV ratings.

Wherefore art thou, Tiger-o?

The LA Times is reporting that the British Open final round overnight television ratings slipped 14.6% despite the feel-good story of Greg Norman, who slept on a 3^rd round lead and who was paired up with the defending (and eventual) champ, Padraig Harrington.

We truly believe that eventually Woods will start a competing ‘Tiger Tour’, in which he plays every week and lines up his already dizzying array of sponsors to foot the bill.

Whether you’d like to admit it or not, you know that Tiger is way bigger than the PGA Tour, and he kinda likes his money…so what’s the holdup?

Hey, Eldrick…shoot us an email…we’ll help you hammer out the details.

 

 

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,PGA Tour,British Open,Greg Norman,Tiger Woods

Makeshift bullfighting arena bleachers are a bad idea.

This reminds us of a bullfight we saw in TJ once…wait, is a bullfight the same as a donkey show?

 

 

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,bullfighting

Brewers so desperate for bats, they sign Jay Gibbons.

Former Baltimore Orioles outfielder Jay Gibbons, who was named in the Mitchell Report and for months sought a chance to redeem himself, has signed a minor league deal with the Milwaukee Brewers, according to multiple media reports.

EVERY SINGLE one of the players who was a free agent named in the Mitchell Report remained unsigned until the Brewers sold whatever soul remained of their pathetic franchise by signing alleged ‘roid freak Gibbons.

Sure, the Cubs haven’t won the World Series in almost a century, but the Brewers have NEVER won it and they haven’t even made the playoffs in 26 years.

Perhaps the Cubs should bring back Sosa & Palmiero?

No, forget it…Chicago already has enough this year to beat Milwaukee like the red-headed stepcity it will forever be.

 

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,MLB,Milwaukee Brewers,Chicago Cubs,Jay Gibbons

Anyone surprised that Bill Laimbeer and Rick Mahorn are now fighting with girls?

Where are Zeke & The Worm when you need ‘em?

The best part is when asshole Laimbeer says that Mahorn is known as a ‘peacemaker’. Tell that to Scottie Pippen, dickhead.

If there is anyone in sports we despise more than Rick Mahorn, it’s Bill motherfucking Laimbeer. Slink off the court without shaking hands lately, pricks?

Candace Parker, with those massive 21-inch pythons, could kick the everloving shit outta fucking Laimbeer.

If only.

 

 

 

 

 

‘The Spider’ was, and still is, the only one of those Pistons cocksuckers with even an ounce of class. 

 

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,WNBA,Los Angeles Sparks,Detroit Shock,Candace Parker,Lisa Leslie,Bill Laimbeer,Rick Mahorn,Chicago Bulls,Michael Jordan,Detroit Pistons,John Salley,NBA

10 more mediocre women's tennis players who should be in Playboy.

With Ashley Harkleroad on the cover it seems obvious Playboy’s business model…pun intended…has changed since Hugh Hefner’s kept woman Holly Madison shoehorned herself into the business.

Since Hef has significantly lowered his previously unquestioned standards to allow below average women’s tennis players who ‘feel good about their body’ (ugh) onto his hallowed pages, here are some more you have never heard of who can now potentially look forward to brief undressed stardom.

 

Dominika Cibulkova,  age 19 – Slovakia – Current Rank: #31

 

Bethanie Mattek, age 23 – USA – Current Rank: #59

 

Anna Chakvetadze, age 21 – Russia – Current Rank: #8

                   

 

Elena Vesnina, age 21 – Ukraine – Current Rank: #62

               

 

Gisela Dulko, age 21 – Argentina – Current Rank: #36

              

 

Nicole Vaidisova, age 19 – Germany – Current Rank: #22

 

Sania Mirza, age 21 – India – Current Rank: #35

           

 

Patty Schnyder, age 29 – Switzerland – Current Rank: #13

 

Daniela Hantuchova, age 25 – Slovakia – Current Rank: #12

 

Ana Ivanovic, age 20 – Serbia – Current Rank: #1 (umm...ok...she’s like the best and hottest tennis player in the world...so sue us)

 

 

 

 

 

That is all. The end.

 

UPDATE:

Friday, August 01, 2008 - Maria Sharapova out of Olympics and US Open.

 

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,Ana Ivanovic,Sania Mirza,Patty Schnyder,Nicole Vaidisova,Gisela Dulko,Elena Vesnina,Daniela Hantuchova,Bethanie Mattek,Anna Chakvetadze,Dominika Cibulkova,Ashley Harkleroad,Hugh Hefner,Playboy,Holly Madison