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« July 18, 2008 | Main | July 20, 2008 »

July 19, 2008

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Michelle Wie in contention, then disqualified.

From Associated Press:

MichelleWie Michelle Wie finished the third round of the State Farm Classic alone in second on Saturday—then was disqualified for failing to immediately sign her scorecard a day earlier.

Wie was playing her best golf of the year, finishing off a 5-under 67 to get to 17 under for the tournament, one stroke back of Yani Tseng.

That’s when Wie was disqualified by LPGA officials, who said they’d learned during play Saturday from tournament volunteers about the 18-year-old’s mistake.

“I don’t know why or how it happened,” said Wie, who had been crying moments earlier. She took no questions before leaving the clubhouse at Panther Creek Country Club.

Sue Witters, the LPGA’s director of tournament competitions, disqualified Wie in a small office in an LPGA trailer at the golf course after asking her what had happened.

“She was like a little kid after you tell them there’s no Santa Claus,” Witters said.

Day-um, Witters. That’s cold as hell. Are you always that much of a bitch? This 18 year old girl is busting her ass, gets disqualified for something YOU should have caught, and then you sell her out like that because she cried?

Sue Witters is officially Clubhouse Cancer’s ‘Asshole of the Month’.

Congrats, bitch.

 

 

How is this British Open enjoyable to watch?

Nobody is out there conquering the elements…the winner is simply gonna be whichever golfer happens to suck the least.

Wherever he is in this world right now, Tiger Woods is watching with his left leg propped up on some silk-covered pillows and laughing his ass off.

However, this is literally the best possible situation for all the entities involved…ABC, PGA, ESPN, the sponsors…who would be watching this crap if not for the reemergence of the late, great Greg Norman.

 

GregNormanBritish08b 

 

 

You too can Photoshop Brett Favre into any jersey.

This was on the front page of the Chicago Tribune earlier in the week.

We’ll say it again…if the PACKERS don’t even want Favre, why should any other team?

He has completely sucked in cold weather games the past few years, and last we checked…the Bears don’t play their home games in Bermuda.

Plus, he’s a legend of the Bears most despised rival…it would be like a St. Louis Cardinal World Series hero playing for the Cubs…oh, wait…

 

FavreBears

Here's how the Chicago Tribune's Phil Geib made this illustration: "I assembled multiple photos in Photoshop. I colored over the green existing Packers jersey. I took a #4 off of a Brian Urlacher jersey. I painted the stripes over the existing ones and added the GSH to the sleeve. Then I filled in the collar area with a dark blue and added shadow work. It took about 3 hours."

 

Man finally justifies bringing his glove to the game.

Do you think he laid out his glove last night with the black shirt and navy pants? He was so excited he probably couldn’t sleep, dreaming of being the one to save the day just because he brought his mitt.

He confidently told his girlfriend in the lavender over & over, “Don’t worry about foul balls babe, I got ‘em.” She’s like, “Whatever Steve, you say that every time we go to the game.”

He was probably taunting the guy with the dreads in front of him, “Dude, if one comes our way, I’m snaggin’ it!”

Why did the lady in the robin’s egg blue even bring her glove? She’s turning away in horror and she’s two rows away.

This is the defining moment of every glove-toters life. He can now die a happy man.

FanSavesLife 

 

Sportwriters dusting off their Shark metaphors.

They are too numerous to re-post here, but over the course of the weekend, if Greg Norman stays in contention…or especially if he doesn’t…notice all the times a member of the media makes what they must consider a clever ‘shark’ pun.

Most of them, like ‘Shark stalks leaders at British’…can be used for Tiger, too. That’s what makes those writers so successful. They’re smart.

We can just hear Jimmy Roberts putting the 2008 British Open into perspective for us now.

 

GregNormanBritish08

Sigh...isn’t he dreamy...

 

Rare Jason Taylor home movies.

It doesn’t happen too often that you get to see the exact moment a young athlete finds the inspiration for his future.

On a related note, the first time you find yourself slipping on the giant mascot head…you should probably take stock of your life, count up all the red flags, and turn yourself in somewhere.

 

 

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