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« July 17, 2008 | Main | July 19, 2008 »

July 18, 2008

Friday, July 18, 2008

Around the Horn bashes Billy Beane.

Looks like someone has been reading Clubhouse Cancer. These exact douches have been falling all over themselves to call Oakland A’s GM Billy Beane a ‘genius’ for years, yet when we question him, they realize the error of their collective argument and fall all over themselves in unabashed agreement.

Note: The preceding statement, if we actually believed it, would put us in the category of every other sports blog. Shamelessly tout yourself until people start to agree, then act as if you invented sportswriting.

We know the only one of them who has this site bookmarked is Mariotti…when he can get the dick outta his mouth long enough to read, that is.

 

 

Ed Werder confuses Jason Taylor.

Some PR flacks have been telling Jason Taylor lies. They obviously must constantly tell him how ‘smart’ he is, and how he must control the situation with the Dolphins by taking ‘the high road’.

Then, an actual intelligent person like Ed Werder sits across from Taylor in an interview and, quite unintentionally, makes him looks retarded just by asking a few simple questions. He probably read the ‘talking points’ memo he was issued, but he’s too dim to know when to fit the key phrases in naturally, and this disjointed exchange is the result.

You know what the word ‘deem’ means, dummy?

It looks like all those Hollywood offers have dried up huh, Jay-Jay?

 

 

Santa Claus sent down to Triple-A.

After serving up some weak-ass shit lately and making some admittedly huge mistakes this past December in evaluating the ‘naughty & nice’ list, Kris Kringle was finally sent down to the minors on Friday.

“I just don’t have it right now,” Papa Noël conceded. “The big club needs me to work on my mechanics so maybe I can help out for the stretch run.”

He will be replaced in the rotation by either LHP Heat Miser or the fireballing North Pole rookie, Jangle.

 

SantaSucks

 

Technorati Tags: ,

Bob Brenly, mythbuster.

BonbandLen After spending his All-Star break in Idaho watching his son Michael play for the Boise Hawks of the Northwest League, Cubs color announcer Bob Brenly proclaimed that the Boise State blue field does NOT kill hundreds of birds, duck and geese per year that mistake it for a small body of water, as has been reported for some time.

Damn.

 

BoiseStateBirdKiller 

 

New England Revolution players subdue unruly man on flight.

From Associated Press:

The FBI says an American Airlines flight on its way from Boston to Los Angeles was diverted to Oklahoma City after a passenger stripped nude, got dressed and then tried to open an emergency exit door.

FBI spokesman Gary Johnson says members of the New England Revolution soccer team who were aboard the Friday afternoon flight helped subdue the man.

What did they do? Kick their man-purses at the guy?

First, two surfing posts and now a soccer post? That’s what happens when Brett Favre clams up for a day or so during All-Star week.

 

NewEnglandRevolution 

 

Technorati Tags: ,

Tom Brady hangs 10.

2 surfing posts in 24 hours? Must be the slowest sports week of the year.

New England Patriots QB and supermodel ‘errand boy’ (according to TMZ) was caught ‘jazzing the glass’ instead of attending the ESPY awards earlier this week.

Does surfing constitute a breach of his NFL contract?

Section 3 of the NFL’s standard player contract stipulates, in part, that a “player will not engage in … any activity other than football which may involve a significant risk of personal injury. … Player therefore agrees that club will have the right … to enjoin the player from engaging in any activity other than football which may involve a significant risk of injury.”

What would Johnny Utah do?

 

TomBradySurfing 

 

Whitey Ford is still the king of New York.

How much you wanna bet that bottle is spiked? Later, Whitey and Yogi went to the Copa for dinner and dancing.

If you got that joke, then you know your baseball history.

 

WhiteyFordYogiBerra

WhiteyFord

 

Kelly Slater wins surfing world championships & nails blazing hot women.

Kelly Slater Growing up in the Midwest didn’t offer much of a chance for us to get ‘into’ surfing, even though we have an Emmy winning surf-documentary producing first cousin.

But, it looks pretty cool and winning 8 world championships at any athletic endeavor will obviously help you score hot women. Although it probably also helps to win the genetic lottery.

At least Kelly Slater is thankfully going bald which means the surf gods must not grant every wish.

Isn't that one of the life lessons we all learned from Greg Brady? Slater must have an evil Tiki doll stowed away somewhere that he’s forgotten about. How else can you explain the inclusion of Kirsten Dunst on this list? The specter of Vincent Price looms large.

 

Bar Rafaeli - Slater beat up a papparazo while defending her honor a couple of years ago in Israel. We'd like to see him in a death-cage rumble against that long haired kid on TMZ. That would be rad.

 

Bar Rafaeli 3

Bar Rafaeli 5  Bar Rafaeli 4

Bar Rafaeli 2

Bar Rafaeli Bar Rafaeli 6

 

Cameron Diaz - Helped her pick up the pieces of her shattered life after Timberlake dumped her. Kelly Slater is selfless like that.

Cameron Diaz 

Cameron Diaz 7 

Cameron Diaz 3

Cameron Diaz 4

Cameron Diaz 6 Cameron Diaz 2

Cameron Diaz 5

 

Gisele Bundchen - More sloppy seconds off DiCaprio. Slater was her rebound dude between Leo and Tom Brady. If this were a different kind of website, we might be posting her conquests. But its not.

Gisele Bundchen 2

Gisele Bundchen 5

Gisele Bundchen Gisele Bundchen 3

Gisele Bundchen 4 Gisele Bundchen 6

 

Some Canadian Bimbo - At least he got her before she became a meatless hag grandmother.

Pam Anderson

 

Dunst - Trust us, there are not many picture of her looking attractive. This one is probably at least 15 years old.

Kirsten Dunst

 

Slater also ‘dated’ some Playboy chick named Cara Michelle, but we couldn't find any pictures of her with clothes on...and you know, this is a family site. Oh well. Google her.

 

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