Clubhouse Cancer

A-Rod has a ‘women-that-bang-Jose-Canseco’ fetish.

Radaronline.com reports that ‘OK’ magazine (got that?) will be printing tomorrow that Alex Rodriguez and Madonna have become ‘sexy new friends.’

And…according to integrity-filled, whistleblower Jose Canseco…A-Rod was once after his then wife Jessica, as well. Since we all know that Canseco and Madonna had a well-publicized tryst way back during the Mesozoic Era…that can only logically mean one thing.

A-Rod is obviously obsessed with every woman Jose Canseco has ever slept with. Maybe because they’re both from Miami? Rodriguez, as young South Florida phenom must have grown up idolizing his larger-than-life, hometown hero Canseco.

This can’t be a coincidence.

Another thing, A-Rod…Madonna? Dude, that’s pretty weak. Madonna wasn’t even hot when she was always naked and demanding our attention by saying ‘fuck’ a million times on David Letterman. She’s ‘celebrity’ hot…like Maria Shriver or Paris Hilton.

Hopefully, it’s just that Madonna and A-Rod get their HGH from the same connection.

 

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,MLB,New York Yankees,Alex Rodriguez,Madonna,Jose Canseco

Can the New Jersey Nets just trade for LeBron already?!

Seriously.

We have two more freakin’ years of this nonsense.

LeBron James listed New York as his favorite city Monday (his hometown of Akron, Ohio came in fifth behind Washington D.C., Dallas, and Los Angeles) as he took part in a one-day USA Basketball media blitz.

Dallas?? Dallas is a shithole that would be an eyesore dump in a 3^rd world nation, for christ’s sake. Double-Douchebag Mark Cuban must’ve really gotten in his ear at some point.

What, no Oklahoma City or Toronto?

No Cleveland?

Then, he was naturally asked what was his favorite borough.

“My favorite borough? Brooklyn,” James said, choosing the proposed future home of the New Jersey Nets over the borough of Manhattan, where the Knicks play their home games. “Brooklyn is definitely a great place here in New York City, and some of my best friends are from Brooklyn, so I stick up for them.”

Are these questions real? ‘What’s your favorite borough, King James?’…sheesh. Yeah, Brooklyn’s a real garden spot.

We get it. You wanna play for Jay-Z and the Nets in Brooklyn in 2010, but you think you’re so business savvy, you list fucking Dallas as one of your favorite cities…you know, just in case.

No offense, but you didn’t even go to college. You are NOT a businessman. You’re a dumb jock with unparalleled athletic skills, but zero business acumen. Just because Jay-Z made a billion as a hip-hop mogul, doesn’t mean he knows how to run a sports franchise.

This is the blind leading the blinder and it’s ripe for big trouble.   

If you’re a sports fan in this country…you have simply got to be sick of this crap already…and it’s only gonna get exponentially worse.

 

 

 

 

Too bad Shaq didn’t wait a week for his rap. This pic would’ve been some good ammo.

 

 

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,NBA,New Jersey Nets,LeBron James,Jay-Z,Brooklyn,Kobe Bryant

Randy Moss buys NASCAR Truck team.

New England Patriots business savvy WR Randy Moss will announce on Thursday that he has purchased Morgan Dollar Motorsports which runs the #46 truck in NASCAR’s Craftsman Truck Series.

Moss will change the team name to Moss Motorsports No. 81 and race the #81 car with reportedly a ‘prominent Sprint Cup driver’ behind the wheel.

“We don’t have all of the details in place just yet, but I am very excited about Moss Motorsports becoming a part of NASCAR,” Moss said on April 30. “I am by nature a very competitive person and this is an outlet for me to compete at another level.”

Casey Mears is looking for a ride, and Tony Stewart is looking for a partnership opportunity.

Randy Moss has certainly grown up a lot in the last couple of years and hopes to use his new outlook on life and his considerable resources to anchor a sporting world empire when he finally hangs up the cleats for good.

Hang in there, Randy…nothing you ever do will come to you as easily as does football.

 

For those who don't know what a Morgan Dollar is:

 

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,NASCAR,Craftsman Truck Series,Randy Moss,Tony Stewart,Casey Mears,Morgan Silver Dollar

‘Sports Mount Rushmore’ names revealed.

The Orlando Sentinel has been running a poll to see who you think should be the top 4 former US athletes on a mythical ‘Sports Mount Rushmore’.

Here are the results, in order of votes received:

 

Babe Ruth

 

 

 

 

 

Michael Jordan

 

 

Muhammad Ali

 

Jim Thorpe

 

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,Babe Ruth,Michael Jordan,Muhammad Ali,Jim Thorpe

Just Manny being malevolent.

Manny Ramirez has apologized for pushing the team’s traveling secretary to the ground in the visitor’s clubhouse during a confrontation Saturday in Houston, according to a report in The Providence Journal.

Ramirez had requested 16 tickets from Jack McCormick for Saturday’s game against the Astros, the report said.

After McCormick said that it might not be possible, Ramirez replied by yelling “just do your job,” and throwing McCormick to the ground.

Looks like that ‘special’ shipment Manny was waiting for never made it across the Rio Grande.

Notice how Manny’s been a bit more irritable this season than in previous years?

We bet Shawn Chacon wishes he played for the Red Sox.

 

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,MLB,Boston Red Sox,Manny Ramirez

Sometimes, as a Cubs fan, you just have to drink.

It’s not all ivy & suds every time out.

This guy knows what we’re talkin ‘bout.

 

 

Keep the faith, brother. Big Z returns on Independence Day.

 

 

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,MLB,Chicago Cubs,drunk guys,Carlos Zambrano

It’s a tad presumptuous to wear Jesse Owens’ colors on the track…

Until you rock a 9.68, the fastest a human being has ever busted the 100M, wind notwithstanding.

Congrats to Tyson Gay on this weekend’s ‘pick-up-the-phone’ moment. (thanks to David Stein from Sporting News Radio for that term)

Hopefully, he’s clean. (Sorry, Tyson…those are the times in which we live)

 

 

 

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,2008 Olympic Games,Tyson Gay,David Stein

Stay classy, Los Angeles.

Who knew Angels & Dodgers fans didn't get along?

That beer was probably warm anyway.

 

 

Why can’t they all just get along?

 

 

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,MLB,Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim,Los Angeles Dodgers

‘Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together…mass hysteria!’

Ahh…the city that works together and plays together.

 

 

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,MLB,Chicago Cubs,Chicago White Sox,US Cellular Field

Want something to eat at Nationals Park?

Umm…no thanks.

 

 

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,MLB,Washington Nationals,Nationals Park

Don’t you dare call it a ‘no-hitter’.

The Angels held the Dodgers hitless Saturday night, but according to MLB regulations, it won’t be officially called a ‘no-hitter’.

Why, you ask?

Because the Dodgers won, and since they were playing at Chávez Ravine, they didn’t bat in the ninth…so it wasn’t a ‘nine inning’ game according to the rulebook.

 

According to MLB rules: An official no-hit game occurs when a pitcher (or pitchers) allows no hits during the entire course of a game, which consists of at least nine innings. In a no-hit game, a batter may reach base via a walk, an error, a hit by pitch, a passed ball or wild pitch on strike three, or catcher's interference.

 

That blows. What do you tell your kids?

 

 

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,MLB,no-hitter,Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim,Los Angeles Dodgers

Rough night for a big Cubs fan.

Tonight in Las Vegas, lightweight David Diaz got his ass royally handed to him by perhaps the best pound-for-pound champ in the world, Manny Pacquiao.

 

 

 

Diaz, in happier times, before he got his face rearranged, earlier this season at Wrigley Field:

 

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,HBO Sports,David Diaz,Manny Pacquiao,Chicago Cubs,Wrigley Field

Kerry Wood flips the double bird to White Sox fans.

Even though this looks like it may be a friendly, joking gesture to his buds in the bullpen…we prefer to think it was aimed directly at everything White Sox.

 

 

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,MLB,Chicago Cubs,Chicago White Sox,Kerry Wood

Our 10,000 meter Beijing Olympic runners are hotter than your 10,000 meter Beijing Olympic runners.

Suck on that Belarüs.

USA! USA!!!

 

 

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,10000 Meters,Olympic Trials,2008 Olympic Games,Amy Begley,Kara Goucher,Shalene Flanagan

Marshawn Lynch claims he didn’t know he hit someone.

Wonder why?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,NFL,Buffalo Bills,Marshawn Lynch

‘Big Ben’ not looking so big.

Looks like Ben Roethlisberger has lost about 35 pounds.

We bet that this time next year he’ll be saying he was ‘just too skinny’ in ’08.

Don’t take him before the 5^th round in your draft.

 

 

 

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,NFL,Pittsburgh Steelers,Ben Roethlisberger,fantasy football

Derrick Rose knows on which side his bread is buttered.

New Chicago Bulls point guard Derrick Rose threw out the first pitch before today’s ‘Crosstown Classic’.

Since his new boss has a little something to do with Chicago South Side baseball…he probably felt he had to wear those colors…he couldn’t possibly be an actual fan of that particular team.

Here’s the video and a couple pics.

 

 

 

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,2008 NBA Draft,MLB,Chicago Cubs,Chicago Bulls,Chicago White Sox,Derrick Rose

‘Bikini Baristas’ is a good idea.

Employment as a barista is just one step removed from working the pole anyway. Except strippers have an actual marketable skill and ‘baristas’…well…don’t.

 

 

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,bikini baristas

Becky Hammon, All-American girl.

Hey, she’s playing for the money…isn’t that what we teach here? Money above all?

If you think it isn’t…get your head outta the fucking sand, and take a look around at your 2008 America. We as a nation choose Capitalism over Patriotism every day of the week, and thrice on Sundays.

Anne Donovan should check her jealousy at the door and suck a dick do whatever it is ‘women’ like her do.

 

 

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,2008 Summer Olympics,Becky Hammon,Anne Donovan,Russia

Wimbledon just became unwatchable.

Number 1 seed and sneaky, subdued hottie Ana Ivanovic is out.

Seeya at the US Open, women’s tennis!!

 

 

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,USTA,Wimbledon,Ana Ivanovic

Svetlana Kuznetsova is the next Kournikova.

Steve Kournikova, our old college roommate, that is.

This is just…well…you have eyes…for the time being.

 

Here's one to cleanse your mind of the horror above, plus...Perez Hilton is reporting that Anna's now divorced!

 

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,USTA,Wimbledon,Svetlana Kuznetsova,Anna Kournikova

Gary Carter’s stupidity angers the gods.

In today’s New York Times, Billy Witz printed a fantastic article about Orange Co. Flyers skipper Gary Carter, and his obsession to get back to the bigs as a manager.

Without re-printing the entire article, here are a few stellar quotes:

On managing in the Golden League:

“I thought, ‘O.K., well, here’s a golden opportunity,’ ” Carter said. “Like the wording — golden?”

Wow…what a skilled wordsmith. Wit like that just may get you out of ‘tarp duty’ the next time it rains, douchekid.

On realizing Citi Field is not going to be his future home:

“Now I’d love nothing more than to have an opportunity of managing a team and beat the heck out of them.”

‘Now’?? You tried to get the job three fucking weeks ago…but ‘now’ you have decided you want to beat them? As if that will somehow help your resume. “Yes sir, I know I would be lucky the Nationals would even consider me, but know this…I really want to beat the heck out of the Mets!”

You’re hired!!

This mental midget acts like just because he’s in the HOF, he is entitled to and should be instantly granted whatever job he desires.

As a matter of fact, here’s another quote about his current job in the lowest level of professional sports:

“How many Hall of Famers do you know that would do that?”

Well…Ryne Sandberg is doing it the right way.

Even his players are sick of him:

“You don’t expect that from a Hall of Famer,” said Matt Merricks, a pitcher for the Flyers.

The final scrumptious nugget, when Carter realizes the interview may not be the puff-piece about which he had obviously prayed:

“If I’m thrown under the bus because of my desires to one day manage in the major leagues, then every one of you guys don’t ever come to me again. Period. Am I clear?”

Crystal, kiddo.

One more question…how will we find you?

 

RELATED:

Gary Carter is dumb.

Gary Carter admits he wants Randolph’s job.

 

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,MLB,New York Times,New York Mets,Orange County Flyers,Gary Carter

White Sox pitching coach Don Cooper gets no respect.

Nor should he.

 

 

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,MLB,Chicago White Sox,Don Cooper

Weclome home, Derrick Rose.

Don't say we didn't tell you over a month ago this would be the pick.

Hello, credibility!

 

 

 

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,2008 NBA Draft,Chicago Bulls,Derrick Rose

Barack calls Derrick Rose “Jason Kidd with a jump shot.”

Us Chi-town boys stick together...except for that Kanye West...he’s been acting like a bitch lately.

Remember the number one indicator that Chicago will draft Rose with the #1 pick…his agent is three-time Bulls ring holder BJ Armstrong!

We haven’t seen that reported anywhere else.

 

 

Technorati Tags: Clubhouse Cancer,2008 NBA Draft,Chicago Bulls,Barack Obama,Derrick Rose