A frustrated and petulant Andy Roddick threw his racket at a garbage can Saturday, which may or may not have been a commentary on the state of his game.
“I hate myself,” he muttered a few points later during a practice match at Wimbledon. “I just can’t stand myself.”
We fucking hate you too, Andy.
Why, you may ask?
Because you get to bang the hottest poon-tang in the world and you fucking suck at tennis, that’s fucking why.
We’ll get to tell you to your face when you’re back in America the day after your first-round match at Wimbledon.
Either start winning or just goddamn retire, douchebag. Quit getting our national hopes up that someday you might just stop sucking.
Who wants to bet ‘ol Andy has a triumphant season of ‘Dancing With the Stars’ in him in a year or two?
Also, why would you take Maria Sharapova to the Playboy Mansion? Haven’t you ever heard the phrase, ‘You don’t bring sand to the beach’? Fucking dumbass.

