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Main | May 2008 »

April 2008

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

More Mavs nonsense.

Looks like we’re finding out why Avery Johnson got dusted so quickly after Dallas’ second first-round ouster in as many years.

If it went down the way The Ft. Worth Star-Telegram is reporting, Johnson lost control of the locker room and the red-eyed weed monster, Josh Howard is to blame.

JoshHoward A late-night party to celebrate Josh Howard's 28th birthday after Sunday's Game 4 loss turned Dallas Mavericks coach Avery Johnson livid and led him to cancel Monday's practice, two sources confirmed.

Johnson, who stressed no partying during the series, was informed before Monday's scheduled practice that Howard handed out fliers to teammates in the locker room before Game 4, inviting them to his party at a Dallas nightclub.

Upon learning of the party, the sources said, Johnson entered the locker room and asked the players who attended to stand up. Infuriated, Johnson lit into his team and then called off practice. He told the team they'd meet on the flight to New Orleans.

So, while Howard may not have cost Johnson his actual job, his mis-timed weed-use admission and B-day smokefest sure as hell hastened the inevitable.

This is the kind of incident that can be a career-killer for a guy like Johnson. Teams looking for a strong leader, like the Bulls for instance, won’t be eager to hire the former fireplug guard with this lack-of-discipline thing looming.

CubanWrigley2 Not that it looks like it matters much to Mark Cuban, who was spied...ahem...‘merrily’ yukking it up in the front row this evening at Wrigley Field to watch the Cubs annihilate the Brewers 19-5.

Sorry to write so much about the Mavericks, but they are a terrific story and the words just flow like chicken through a fat dog.*

 

 

 

*thanks to thebleeper! bleep on, baby!

Smoltz back to the pen after DL stint?

JohnSmoltz2 40 year old Braves stalwart John Smoltz is resigned to the fact he may never make another major league start. Smoltz is battling tendinitis in his right bicep and can't continue to pitch with the tightness that has existed midway through Spring Training.

“I'm coming back as a reliever first and then we'll see what happens,” Smoltz said late Wednesday afternoon. “I'm content with this.”

Smoltz will try to recapture the role he near perfected for the club from 2001-2004. During that span, he notched a franchise record 154 saves in 168 opportunities.

Time to hang ‘em up, Johnny. Go directly to Cooperstown and do not pass go. Thanks for the effort.

 

Technorati Tags: ,,

Detroit considering Bonds?

BarryLamarBonds3 Respected baseball scribe Gary Thorne of The Detriot Free Press is reporting that the Tigers may be interested in acquired free-agent steroid freak and Ultimate Clubhouse Cancer Barry Bonds if Gary Sheffield’s hinky shoulder is worse than feared.

Of course, Detroit manager Jim Leyland managed the notorious cocksucker in Pittsburgh. Leyland probably believes that due to his and Bonds’ history, he could cajole the indicted assmunch into joining the struggling Tigers.

Bonds’ joining the AL Central could either be inspiring or deadly…very little middle ground with him.

 

 

 

 

 

BCS rejects playoff proposal.

bcs_logo Southeastern Conference commissioner Mike Slive presented a plan Wednesday to commissioners of the other BCS leagues for a ‘plus-one’ format, matching the No. 1 team in the nation against No. 4 and 2 vs. 3 in the marquee bowl games. The winners would meet about a week later in the BCS national championship game.

“After a very thorough very good discussion among the group, we have decided that because we feel at this time the BCS is in an unprecedented state of health, we feel it’s never been healthier during its first decade,” Atlantic Coast Conference commissioner John Swofford said. “We have made a decision to move forward in the next cycle with the current format.”

Blah, blah, blah…so, NO then.

Big Ten fuckstick Jim Delany and Pac-10 sycophant Tom Hansen have bitched repeatedly about how they’re “concerned” the four-team playoff the ‘plus-one’ creates would inevitably grow to a ‘basketball-style’ bracket. Also, they believe their league’s access to the Rose Bowl, already compromised by simply being involved with the BCS, would be further hindered by a plus-one.

Once again, the desires of the few, but powerful, outweigh the majority. We bet there is one all-powerful wizard pulling the strings somewhere behind the BCS screen.

Mavs dump Avery Johnson

Mark Cuban Douchebag

Since nothing more needs be written, here are a coupla pics of Anna Kournikova:

 

Anna2 Anna

 

Letterman knows funny.

Now, so do you.

Suns deny report of D'Antoni's imminent departure

Mikedantoni So, he's probably got less than a week.

Sporting News is reporting he's already been shitcanned.

It's not his fault Steve Kerr traded for Shaq.

 

 

 

 

 

 

SI ranks MLB ballparks.

This is from their online fan survey. Bad news, fellow Cubs fans. Who the fuck cares about food at the ballpark, anyway? What more do you pussies need, other than a coupla dogs and some peanuts? Maybe a Polish.

 

Peyton butches up.

This is how you win a Super Bowl. Paying attention, Rexy?

 

More Clemens women unearthed.

RocketsParamour Now it’s being reported by the New York Daily News that The Rocket “hung out with several attractive women in his baseball career.”

No shit.

As it turns out, Roger likes attractive women. Alert the media. Oh yeah, they are alerting the media, seemingly in droves.

This is what happens when you spend your gifted, lucky life assholing your way around.  

Rocket might want to move to a 3rd-world country where baseball is illegal, like England.

 

 

 

 

 

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Mavs knocked off by Hornets.

    What a shame.

Mark Cuban Douchebag

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chicks dig the tofu ball.

PrinceFielder

In a move designed to further alienate his super-sized father, Prince Fielder has become an evil, self-loathing vegetarian.

Lots of power hitters in MLB history have been non-meat consumers.

In fact, it was well known that Babe Ruth refused to drink any alcohol that was made from meat…unless it was, you know…cold.

 

Dancing Queen Jason Taylor snubbed by Big Tuna.

JasonTaylor2 ESPN.com is reporting that Jason Taylor tried to stop in and visit Bill Parcells last week when Taylor was in Miami filming for his heterosexual dance-off show on ABC.

Supposedly, the Tuna doesn’t approve of his new team’s preeminent player and stud defensive captain mincing it up while sporting the Dolphins colors on national TV.

Can anyone really blame him?

Privately, Miami trainers are horrified that Taylor might trip and sprain his pussy.

Here it is...if you like that sorta thing, princess.

Is ANYONE loyal to The Rocket?

RogerClemens Roger Clemens has spent his career as bristling dickhead, of that there is little argument. However, didn’t he engender any loyalty from anyone?

First, his longtime personal trainer (to whose child he is godfather) sings to MLB and the Mitchell Report, then his best friend stabs him in the back to Congress, and now his mistress…who he helped out of a Ft. Myers trailer park to country music stardom, for fuck’s sake…have all one-by-one abandoned him.

Next up, his wife will admit the HGH wasn’t really hers and his sons will openly mock his once mighty fastball.

 

Did Paul Pierce throw down the ‘B’?

PaulPierceGang Paul Pierce of the Boston Celtics has been fined $25,000 for making a threatening gesture towards the Hawks Al Horford immediately following a physical altercation between the two, during the Celtics Game 3 loss in Atlanta Saturday night. The gesture is said to be a hand sign for the ‘Bloods’ street gang.

We hear that while Pierce is not an ‘official’ gang member he incorporates the ‘Blood’ hand sign during pregame introductions to signify “blood, sweat, and tears.”

Yeah, we’re sure that’s just a coincidence.

Horford allegedly also has a close relative who is a ‘Crip’, and may even have ties himself to the gang, thus leading Pierce to try and insult Horford by flashing the rival sign.

Boys, boys, boys...

 

 

25 years ado today -- Lee Elia...'nuff said.

LeeElia PG-13 Version:



Awesome, entirely not appropriate or even close to safe for work version: (but the much awesomer version)

 

E-mail your friends...this is the place to hear it today.

 

We declare that Every April 29, from now on...will be...in honor of Lee Constantine Elia...F WORD FREEDOM DAY!!

 

We will cleanse ourselves and rejoice in celebration of those very words that still carry ancient Puritan stigma...like the gloriffic, transformational, all-encompassing, mother lode of words...FUUUUUUCCCCKKKK!!!!

 

MJ to hire Larry Brown

bobcatslogo Those UNC boys do stick together, don’t they?

The Bobcats are no better than a college team, so who better than a great college coach in a great college basketball state.

 

Monday, April 28, 2008

Tony Romo tries to qualify for U.S. Open.

tony_romo_crying_after_fumble This news should make Jerry Jones ecstatic. Free time is free time, but when your owner is breaking the bank to just try and get the ‘Boys past the DIVISIONAL playoff game…you might want to concentrate on football.

 

 

 

 

 

JessicaStupid There’s probably a Jessica Simpson joke here somewhere, but who really cares anymore?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mark Cuban is not intelligent.

MarkCuban2 “I would make the same trade 100 out of 100 times,” the Mavericks’ owner, Mark Cuban, wrote in an e-mail message to the NY Times Howard Beck regarding the Jason Kidd deal recently.

Really? That’s the definition of stupid. Please do not buy the Chicago Cubs, they have quite enough Alfonso Soriano’s.

T-Mac shows true Clubhouse Cancer colors.

Remember last Spring when Tracy McGrady informed us all that however deep the Houston Rockets did, or did not, go was on his shoulders? Another first round elimination soon followed.

It seems as if that was just typical Clubhouse Cancer lipservice.

Just a couple of days ago, McGrady gave this interview where he now mockingly accepts the blame of the Rockets failure”

“It's my fault. It's my fault we missed free throws. It's my fault we lost both games. Blame me. It's my fault we fouled to tie the game up. That's my fault. It's my fault they get easy layups. It's my fault we're not executing well on the offensive end. It's my fault a couple people in the stands ordered Heinekens and they got Budweiser. It's my fault. I'm sorry.”

“I am serious,” he said. “It's my fault. Everything is my fault. It's my fault. It's T-Mac's fault.”

What a total fucking douche.

Now he’s throwing his coach, Rick Adelman, under a short-bus, by questioning the personnel on the floor during the final seconds of the Rockets 86-82 loss to the Jazz Saturday, sending Houston to the brink of elimination.

Ironically, Adelman had used much of his news conference after the game to defend the prick McGrady.

No one is wondering any longer why ‘T-Mac’ can’t get outta the first round. He simply can’t wait to get to the postseason so he can initiate his off-season regimen of banging Vegas strippers 5 at a time.

Who can blame him?

Riles tucks tail and runs.

According to multiple Florida media reports, future Hall of Famer Pat Riley is expected to step down as the Miami Heat's head coach at a news conference set for 4 p.m. ET.

dwyane-wade-7-med Dwyane Wade sure is on a weird & wild emotional ride these days.

First, his Daddy gets unexpectedly traded to a land far, far away…then he begins a scandalous, torrid affair with one of the hottest women in the world…now his coach flat quits on him after posting the worst record in the NBA.

charles_barkley_1 Dwayne needs to cuddle up in the ample bosom of ‘Fave 5 Chuckie’ to get his head on straight before he goes nuts! Maybe a long weekend of strippers, spa treatments and blackjack at The Tower Suites at Wynn Las Vegas to get your head on straight, D?

 

 

 

 

Darren McFadden home movies from the Draft.

Pretty fucking cool. Thanks, Yardbarker.com

D-Mac seems like a pretty cool guy who's gonna work his ass off to change fans perception. Unfortunately, his with the worst franchise in professional sports...just the opposite of what he needs.

Hypothetically if he went to a great organization like say...the Patriots...he potentially wins NFL ‘Man of the Year’ in a few seasons. No shit. We like the guy that much. He truly wants to be good.

Going to the Raiders, though…wow…could there be a worse place to tempt a young guy with a zillion dollars and a history of bar fights?

 

 

Who’s going to defend The Rocket now?

MindyMcCready roger-clemens The New York Daily News is reporting that Roger Clemens carried on a decade-long affair with country star Mindy McCready, a romance that began when McCready was a 15-year-old aspiring singer performing in a karaoke bar and Clemens was a 28-year-old Red Sox ace and married father of two.

Of course Rocket is denying any sort of impropriety ever took place.

That’s what happens with Clubhouse Cancer’s…they honestly convince themselves they are above any and all rules. Clemens head is stuck so far in the sand, he doesn’t even know right from wrong any more.

The articles details pretty specific instances from when the two met in a Ft. Myers, FL after-hours club to the many times Rocket flew McCready to Vegas for lavish, intimate weekends.

We are right back in the Rocket’s world of deny, deny, deny.

Has this scumbag ever taken responsibility for anything?

 

 

Quote:

I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.

Thomas Jefferson

Mavs about to get bounced.

Dirk2

Chris Paul and David West lead New Orleans to victory over Dallas on Sunday, pushing the Mavericks toward a first-round ouster for the 2nd straight season.

Looks like mortgaging your entire future for an aging former superstar wasn’t the way to go, huh Suns…oops, Mavs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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